


Appendices is a Fancy Word

by GlassGeorgeGlass



Series: Making Right What Once Went Wrong [2]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Appendixes, But they could work as stand alone holiday specials, Christmas, F/M, Halloween, Happy Turkey Day, Holidays, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It's a Wonderful Life gets mentioned a bunch, Not just in the Christmas special, Side stories to main story, Thanksgiving, Veronica Sawyer Loved Little House
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassGeorgeGlass/pseuds/GlassGeorgeGlass
Summary: Chapter 3 and 4 are recently up-- as of Christmas 2020-- and about the Christmas of 1989!A collection of one-shots set in the world of "So I Can See My Baby When I Leave This World."The first being about what original timeline JD was doing in that 7/11 while Veronica was changing things.The second is a Thanksgiving story. Three and four Christmas.
Relationships: Jason "J. D." Dean & Jason "J. D." Dean's Mother, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Series: Making Right What Once Went Wrong [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823566
Comments: 53
Kudos: 72





	1. Where is the Pause Button?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alexandra_dAutriche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexandra_dAutriche/gifts).



> Hi! This fills in the gaps after Chapter 1 and before 18 with original timeline JD.
> 
> I gift it to Alexandra_dAutriche as she was the one who heavily suggested it.

_ I think about the turning points. I think about telling Heather I don’t want to go to the party and chose to stay with you at the 7/11. I sometimes even think about how I should have ignored you when you spoke to me in the halls,” he darted his eyes away, knowing that that is probably the best answer for her. “But it’s not. Neither of those are. I don’t regret you, even though I should, I don’t regret the night I went to you and if that party was the circumstance to get there....” _

_ “What do you regret then Veronica?” _

_ She told him. _

_ He just smiled, and the blinding light took over. _

* * *

JD watched the security camera monitor in silence. He was watching Veronica play footsies under the table with another version of himself as they waited for their breakfasts at Denny’s.  _ Was it possible to be jealous of yourself?  _ He wondered. He reached out with a finger and carefully touched the black and white video image of Veronica’s happy face, wishing it was his own jokes causing her to laugh, wishing he could be that happier JD down in this new-- what?-- timeline? Parallel Universe? He watched the scene at the beginning play out like he remembered it. She had woken up in his arms the night after she had broken into his room after that party but instead of going to Heather Chandler’s house they… they enjoyed their morning after. He had been riveted by everything he had been watching since the television started playing it.

None of this made much sense to him. But neither did death in general, so... There’s that. He put his arm on the large monitor that had appeared moments after Veronica had disappeared and watched it carefully as he thoughtlessly choked down his cherry slush. He barely even noticed that the bell on the doorway dinged open for only the second time since he’d arrived in this strange place after blowing himself up in the football field.

“It’s probably my job to tell you that all that sugar isn’t very good for you,” a sweet and tender voice said. “Neither is sitting that close to the television.” He knew that voice very well. In reaction to that piece of unsolicited advice he took an extra loud slurp on the cold slush and continued watching, refusing to acknowledge her verbally. She ignored the insult and moved next to him to watch the monitor. “You look very happy down there. I used to watch you a lot when you were alive.” She paused to say sadly and quietly, “You never looked as happy as that.”

“What are you doing here? Now of all times? I don’t want to talk to you." He spoke in quiet anger, not taking his eyes off the screen. He knew exactly who it was by voice alone, though couldn’t fathom why she was suddenly here with him now of all times. When he had woken up in this other world following his demise he had searched for her, hoping-

But he had been alone, just like he had in his life. Veronica was the first person to ever walk in that door of this empty 7/11.

“Please,” she asked, her voice breaking. “I watched you so much when you were alive from where I was, it broke my heart over and over to see you so sad and lonely and-” He cut her off sharply.

“Yeah, well- you broke my heart that day in Texas so I guess we’re even,” he snapped at her. He turned and saw her-- his mother-- take a startled step back at his retort laced with years of anger he didn’t really know he had at her. He thought in all the time-- or timelessness he supposed-- of this place he’d be over the pain of her leaving him but… he guessed he wasn’t. There she was, permanently 30 years old, only the faintest hint of age on her face. She had on that same pretty dress, carefully done hair, and those pearls. Those pearls she loved so much. He didn’t think she’d been wearing them that day but then again… They’d both died in explosions and he had all his old clothes and paraphernalia. He assumed in the afterlife you got back your classic attire and look by default.

“When you get very angry,” she said quietly, “I see a glimpse of him in your eyes.”  _ Him.  _ He knew what “him” she meant. He tried not to let that observation get to him, but it did.  _ Like father, like son.  _ He hated that expression.

“Yeah, well, he’s,” he pointed at himself at the screen, “not going to be anything like him. Not if she has any say in the matter.” She walked back up next to him and watched the screen as both the teenagers on it smiled, flirted, and ate their breakfasts.

“I like her. She’s good with you.” She laughed knowingly. “Doesn’t hurt that she’s very pretty too.” She nudged him, playfully. He was still an impenetrable wall but his anger was melting pretty quickly, remembering how much he loved and had missed his mother.

“Do you know how any of this is possible?” He asked, realizing she might have some answers he didn’t. He didn’t know how any of this worked. Not really. He understood he was dead, and he understood she had been sent back in time to try and fix things but… that’s pretty much about it. After she left in the blinding light he sat up to find the large security monitor TV on the counter and the only channels he could pick up were the images of this new timeline where he and Veronica never served a cup of Drain-O to Heather Chandler.

"Not that much more than you baby.” He groaned at the lack of answers. “I do know she went back in time to try and fix some mistakes. Don't ask me why you two can and others... The universe-"

"Oh god, please don't say 'the universe is a mystery,'" he warned her.

She laughed. "Well, it is. I’m sorry. But sometimes we get lucky breaks. We got a lucky break, didn’t we? I think it’s best not to look a gift horse like this in the mouth, don't you?" He shrugged and turned back to the television.

She shifted from one foot to another, desperate for more time with her son. To make him happy. "Would you like-?" she tried to take his hand nervously. He flinched from her touch and quickly she put her hands on her side. "Please? I can take you there. For a minute or so. You won't be able to talk or affect anything but you can-" he took her hand immediately. She smiled at him, glad she could give him this. “You can feel it though. For a moment at least. You can feel how happy this other version of you is.” With his hand in hers he closed his eyes and she placed her other hand on the TV. He gasped.

He was there, inside himself, so very much…  _ alive.  _ He’d forgotten how bright, how real, and how sharp it felt to be among the living. He could feel the warmth of her fingers in his hands, the ecstasy of her touch and the joy of hearing her laughter in sharp surround sound. They were in his empty living room floor in Sherwood listening to tapes. He was messing around and air drumming along with Bad Relgion’s  _ Suffer  _ album with her hands as the drumsticks as she sat next to him laughing and enjoying the music and silliness with him. He could feel it. He felt alive and happy and he saw her smiling right next to him. In a heartbeat the mood changed in the living room and she reached out with a tiny smile to tentatively kiss him. Her lips were warm and soft and he could feel them. They were the greatest thing in the world.

An instant later it was gone.

He staggered back from his mother and the television. “Put me back,” he begged. “Please.”

“I’m- I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry but it doesn’t work like that. I could only do it for a moment, for a short burst. Just so you could know for sure it was all real.” He exhaled loudly, trying to shake the sensation of being alive and touching Veronica and the coldness of it being taken away. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it would be that intense for you.” Quickly he reached for his slush and took a strong hit trying to let the cold rush through him and steady him. He gasped, still trying to suss out the overwhelming feelings he felt. 

“Is there a rule book or something? Because I feel like I’m getting a lot of these ‘that’s not how it works’ but where the hell are they written down?”

“Sorry, I only know-”

“A little but more than you do,” they said in unison. He felt steadier and they both turned back to the monitor just in time to watch as the JD and Veronica on the screen kissed. It got deeper and more heated. That JD smiled wickedly at her as he changed the tape on the deck before laying her down on the floor of the living room and-

“Oh! Oh my!” His mom’s eyes went wide as she gasped and covered her mouth when she realized she was watching her son put his head between his girlfriend’s-

“Jesus Christ mom!” He lifted his coat to block the image of him-- the other him? The same him?-- and Veronica getting busy on the screen and she quickly turned around, cheeks red. Her embarrassment and shock quickly turning into laughter.

“Well, glad to know I can embarrass you, even a little now. Also glad to know I raised you to be generous. Most men I knew back in my day-”

“Mom!” He hissed at her as she kept laughing.

“Take the clicker, here.” He did. “You can change the channel and we can see another moment.” Quickly he did so. “But wait, the timestamp says-” He was watching this JD talk to some kid he vaguely remembered from Westerberg in the bathroom with a rope in his hand. 

“Time doesn’t work the same here, remember?” He nodded, enraptured as he changed the channels, seeing different moments from this new timeline Veronica had forged. He found one where he was sitting in an office with a middle aged man talking. “You can turn the sound on too!” She told him as she wandered over to the magazine rack and joyfully grabbed the September issue of Vogue, clutching it to her breast like the delicious relic it was. She loved the September Issue. He did so and proceeded to watch all of it enraptured as if it were the best television show he had ever seen, even making commentary and talking back to the screen. His mother quietly made herself scarce if anymore rated R moments came to pass.

“Fuck me!” He cried out as he got around to the last bits to watch.

_ “My mother’s dead because of you,”  _ the JD on the television barked at his father.

In shock, his mother walked up and watched in horror as her son and former husband came to blows on the television screen. She reached down and clutched his hand, trying to comfort him. He wouldn’t let her. He banged the television as if that would affect the outcome. 

“No! No! Stop it! Stop it now!” Without thinking he hit the pause button he saw on the clicker. In all of one second he and his mother felt the entire convenience store shake as the events in this new timeline came to, well, a pause. He stared at the screen. On it was him pointing the gun, his father accosting Veronica, and Veronica herself scared witless of both his father and him with a gun in his hand. It was frozen on the screen, like a VHS tape on pause, the lines jumping and skipping in the artificial frozen frame.

She bit her lip and looked upwards as if listening to someone. “Who are you talking to?” She put her finger up to motion for him to hold on. He tried to see who she was speaking with but saw nothing. She mumbled some things and nodded.

“Okay, I understand,” she said to her mysterious advisor. She turned back to her son. “You get one of these, apparently. Just. One.” She held up her forefinger to emphasize his one.

“What?” He asked frantically.

“It seems like this is the turning point. It could go many ways.” He shook his head, unbelieving. “It’s the true test to see how much you,” she pointed at the young man on the screen, frozen in anger, “that version of you has changed.”

He raked his fingers through his hair, upset. “I could miss and shoot Veronica. If I do that then I’ll-” She shuddered.

“I know baby. I know. You’d-” She swallowed hard.  _ You’d kill yourself. _ She hated saying it out loud. She had never wanted that to be his fate. In any timeline.

“If I kill my father instead?”

“What do you think?”  _ Arrested. Jail. Alone. The same path as before. No more Veronica. And what would become of her? Neither of them could ever be okay if he killed his dad in front of her. _

“Neither of those things can happen,” he said resolutely. 

“You’re forgetting. There is a third option,” she said tentatively. “You could do neither of those things. You could put the gun down.” He thought about it. He thought long and hard about it, knowing all the things he had seen of this new version of himself. He had changed… hadn’t he? “I know I’m rooting for the third option.” He shook his head, fiercely. 

“No. It’s too much of a risk. One out of three are not the odds I’m willing to take with her life or sanity at sake. I’m not fucking up her life.” He looked back at the monitor of the frozen three figures trapped in a horrific decision. “Again.” She nodded. She looked heavenward at whatever force she was communicating with. He stood back, still perplexed.

“Okay. I can send you down to talk with her. The pause sent her back to the original timeline. She just woke up from her coma thinking all of this,” she waved around her, “was an hallucination and that she had a brain injury and banged up her leg and arm.” He nodded, understanding. “If we do this, if we send you down there to talk to her about this you don’t get to make the decision. Got it? You have to give her this as a choice.” He balked. “Hey, you played your pause card, that was your decision. The choice for her to stay or go though? That’s hers. You’re not the only one this affects, buster. ‘One man's life touches so many others.’ And a woman’s life too for that matter. It’s not all about you.” He sighed and nodded.

“Okay. Could have done without the ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ stuff though. That movie is way too saccharine.”

“I loved that movie, I'll have you know, young man,” she huffed. “Regardless, two things may happen with her choice.” He nodded. “One, she goes back to her old life, the way things originally happened. She suffered a bad car accident but she’ll recover. She lives to be 90 and dies asleep in her bed. You’ll come back here and you’ll-” She choked back a small sob. “You’ll be alone again for the rest of your… whatever this is.” She didn’t want that for him. But this was a choice for Veronica Sawyer to make. And JD’s mom liked Veronica Sawyer. She was putting her trust in this girl.

The JD with a choice to make was the one holding the gun. And she had seen enough to know that she liked that young man too.

“I understand,” he told her.

“If she chooses to go back to that moment-- to see the course of events out-- you,” she pointed at him, “you’ll become that other Jason,” she pointed at the screen. “The one she was with, the one that was changing.” He shivered a little bit. A strange small hope that he tried not to think about trilled through him. “There’s no coming back here, no observing on the TV. You’ll have to live with the consequences of whatever plays out with that scene too, okay? The original timeline will be gone.” He nodded. “You won’t have any memories of the original events either. She will, but you won’t.” He nodded again. “You’ll be putting your faith in Veronica alone.” He thought about it.

“No one else I’d trust more.” 

She had tears in her eyes. “I know baby. Personally, I’m rooting for the super happy ending.” She reached out and carefully fixed the collar on his coat, smoothing it all out in a completely motherly and affectionate manner. “So much black,” she said through tears. “You know, I really am rather hopeful about all this. Maybe if all this works out you can try a little bit of color?” He laughed looking down at her. “Just a suggestion.” She touched his hair gingerly. “I wish I had a comb for your hair,” she said forlorn. “I hate sending you down to her with your hair like that.”

“Mom,” he laughed at the absurdity of her worrying about his appearance. “I like my clothes. And my hair like this.” He winked at her. “She likes it too.” She snorted.

“Of course you do. All grown up. Mr. Cool and Dangerous.” She tugged at the lapel of his coat playfully. “I remember when you sat on my lap and sang ‘Conjunction Junction’ and ‘Three is the Magic Number’ and clapped along with me.” She brushed some imaginary lint off his broad shoulders.  _ When did he get so tall? He’s taller than I am. I missed all of it. _ “Is this really what girls down there like boys dressing like now?” She shook her head. “Still, you’re just as handsome as you always were with that smile and those eyes. So smart. So charming.” He was trying not to cry and so was she. He couldn’t be angry with her anymore. She was his mom, and he loved her. “It has to be her choice, okay?” He nodded. She poked him. “Listen to her choices.”

“I don’t care about me. I just don’t want her to get hurt,” he argued.

“I know. I know what it’s like to love someone so much you’d die for them.” She looked away from him. He stepped back from her and tugged on his coat sleeves, adjusting them. He nodded at her. “I love you Mom.”

“I love you too baby.” She leaned up on her toes and kissed his forehead. “I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you. For leaving you with him. I’m sorry. I thought- my head was so convinced it would be better for you if-” 

“You were sick,” he said, trying to understand her. Any anger from before now gone. “I know that now. I was sick too. You thought that the world would be better without you in it. That your loved ones would be better off.” He remembered his own rationale in the decision to take the bomb from Veronica.

“Doesn’t change how sorry I am,” she said. 

“God, we didn’t get to talk. Not really. There’s so much…” Words failed him suddenly. She nodded, understanding.

“Oh baby, I know. The only thing that’s important is this: you’re beautiful. You really are. Okay? I hope this makes things right somehow.” Tenderly he reached out and placed his hand on her face right as the white light emanated all around him taking him from his convenience store purgatory. 

“Good bye.” He waved to her, going towards what she prayed was a better world.

A moment later he was in an empty hospital watching Veronica sleep. His heart tugged at seeing her in rough shape like that but he was in her dreams to talk to her. In her dreams she wasn’t injured. He leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms ready to lead her out to the courtyard to talk.

She opened her eyes and gasped at him. “You’re dead,” she told him, echoing her words from the eerie 7/11 she had come back into his life that started this whole cosmic adventure.


	2. Happy Thanksgiving Charlie Brown!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which JD joins Veronica's family for their first Thanksgiving together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know it's a bit early for a Thanksgiving chapter, but I just fell in love with Veronica's grandma (who's got parts my own grandmother mixed with Blanche and Dorothy from the Golden Girls, of which I am an INSANE fan.) and it came out.
> 
> Therefore you get a Thanksgiving miracle in October.
> 
> Also, at work we have a complete collection of TV Guides and out of curiosity I looked in Thanksgiving of 1989 issue for what aired that night and YES Superman 2 was actually playing that night on CBS. (Though Charlie Brown did not air on network TV).
> 
> Enjoy!

“I think it’s grandma! I’ll get it!” Veronica cried as she lept towards the door. Her aunt and uncle had already arrived for the holiday and they were just waiting on the last two guests for the Sawyer home festivities.

She opened the door and standing there was her grandmother in her cool two piece cream pant suit with her matching purse and pumps, a jaunty scarf around her neck. “Hi Grandma!” She rang out as she carefully-- the woman was now 70 after all-- lept into her arms.

“Oh, hello cookie,” she told her warmly as she hugged her granddaughter. Veronica had been looking forward to seeing the woman again in this new timeline. They had spoken on the phone a few times but were always unable to meet in person until the holidays. 

“I missed you,” she told her truthfully. She still smelled the same: Charlie perfume and her plants in her rose garden.

“Oh, cookie, I missed you too,” she said, a bit surprised but not unwelcome to the praise. She loved her granddaughter too. Arm in arm they walked into the house and Helen Sawyer placed her bag on the table in the doorway. Veronica helped her take her coat off and hang it up.

They walked in towards the kitchen where her mother was busy putting some of the food together. 

“Hello dear,” her grandmother told her mother. 

“Helen! Did you get here all right?” Her mother was taking the turkey out to baste for it's final bath before the meal.

“Yes Sylvia, even at my age I can still drive from two towns over to your house,” she said dryly.

“That isn’t what I-” Her mother said, worried.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I love that you all care so much.” Veronica's Aunt Lisa was in an apron and fretting over the gravy she had insisted on making fresh with the turkey gizzards. She had seen them do that on a cooking program. Her mother had thought it a lot of needless trouble, she usually just used the powder packet over the stovetop.

Her grandmother had made sure to make her candied yams the way everyone liked them. “Just warm them up for a few minutes,” she told them as she appraised the spread in her daughter-in-laws kitchen. “I also brought the salad. Last year you forgot it,” she added.

“Thank you Helen,” Sylvia Sawyer said, used to her mother-in-laws way.

“Oh, yes, thanks so much Mother Sawyer,” her Aunt Lisa said nervously to her grandmother, not used to her way. “I made the cranberries from scratch this year. You’ll love them.” 

“Whyever did you do that dear?” She asked. “They still make it in can-form, don’t they?” Her Aunt sputtered. Her and her uncle had only been married a year and she was petrified of alienating her mother-in-law. Veronica and her mother tried very hard to explain that grandma was just messing with her but the woman was a bit jumpy.

“I-I-” She quivered. “I can run to the store and grab some now. I think the Stop and Shop might-”

“It’s okay dear. Really,” her grandmother said wearily. “Come on Veronica, let’s catch up for a few minutes.” She took the woman’s arm and they headed away. 

“I really wish she wouldn’t call me ‘Mother Sawyer,’” her grandmother said when they were out of earshot. “It makes me feel like I’m a 90 year old dowager matron on _Upstairs Downstairs_ still whining that the world should be lit by candlelight.” Veronica sniggered. She liked her aunt, even if she did try too hard.

“She’s just trying to live up to your high standards,” Veronica teased. They passed by her dad and uncle watching football in the living room.

“Hey mom!” Her uncle said, enveloped in the game.

“Hey mom!” Her dad copied. “Drive over okay?” They both were actually pretty glued to the football game.

“I hit a man on the parkway. The police are currently investigating,” she told them.

“Aw, yes!” Her dad said in regards to something that happened with the ball in the game, clearly not having heard her quip. “Sorry Mom, what was that?” He got up and kissed her. Her uncle followed suit.

“Yes, the drive over was fine,” she said as her and Veronica laughed. They went to the table where the wine was set up and she poured herself a small glass of white wine in the nice goblets Veronica's parents had received as a wedding gift they only used during the holidays. Veronica had already set the table-- seven place settings as opposed to six like usual-- and dinner was pretty much all set to go after everything was done cooking in the oven. They still had time though and her Aunt was flipping out trying to do as much as possible as her poor mother just stared on trying to placate her and hope next year she’d calm down.

“So,” her grandmother said as Veronica grabbed one of the goblets herself and put some Martinelli’s cider that was put out for the two underage guests at the table in conjunction with some Cokes. “I was told you invited a guest,” she said coyly as they walked arm in arm away from the rest of the family. At the moment Veronica was the woman’s only grandchild and because of that they had a particularly close bond for several years. She assumed her uncle and new young-ish aunt would probably have a few in the coming years but owing to the amount of time they got by themselves Veronica and her grandmother knew their bond would be different than the one she would have with any potential cousins.

“Yes. I did,” Veronica said, nervously. She valued her opinion on these things.

“And that this guest is a boy,” her grandmother said, unable to keep her excitement over the first major romantic endeavor of her seventeen year old granddaughter’s life to a minimum.

“Yes, he is. His name’s Jason Dean, but he goes by JD,” she said, hoping to gauge her grandmother’s opinion. For as long as she could remember she was a good confidant when she felt too embarrassed to ask her mother. Helen Sawyer sipped on her wine. “I hope dad will be nicer to him.”

“He’s not a fan, I take it?” She asked, amused. 

“He got a bad impression of him. That’s all. He found out about some fights that he got into, it’s not as big of a thing as he’s making it out to be. He was trying to defend me in the last one.” _This will be a very intriguing Thanksgiving,_ her grandmother mused as she sipped her wine.

“Please, I met your grandfather after he decked a guy for being fresh with me.” Veronica laughed, she’d heard the story before. "Your father forgets sometimes."

They went back into the living room just as the tell tale sound of JD’s car sounded in their driveway followed shortly by the doorbell ringing. “That must be JD!” She said, mostly to her grandmother, since her father was still annoyed he was sharing his Thanksgiving dinner with the boy. It had been her mother’s idea to ask him.

“Hey,” he told her as he leaned in for a quick peck-- it didn’t go unnoticed by the family of Veronica who were quite surprised by the entire concept of Veronica having a boyfriend-- and walked in and took his trench coat off. She took it from him and hung it up.

“Oh! You brought something!” She said, excitedly.

“Um, that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?” He asked, suddenly unsure. “It’s just pies from the grocery store.” She smiled.

“It’ll be fine. Mom always just buys them anyway.” She took them from him and put them on the side table with the other desert that her uncle and aunt had brought. She smiled and took his hand to lead him into the living room where her father, uncle, and grandmother were now sitting with the football game on. “I want you to meet my grandma.” The woman turned her head intrigued. “Grandma, Uncle Mark-- this is JD. My boyfriend.” Her uncle nodded kindly then turned to his brother and noticed the un-warm welcome he was giving the boy and let out a quiet snort seeing how much this turn of events bothered him. The tiniest of smiles appeared on her grandmother’s very interested face. _So this is the young man. He’s certainly tall._

“Hi,” JD said as he took the can of soda Veronica offered him and awkwardly sat on the couch far away from her father.

“Well, hello,” the older woman said to him, still intrigued. He was wearing black pants, a black shirt with a flannel over it with black boots like he always did and he suddenly wondered if that was a good choice. _He sure likes black it seems,_ she observed. The older woman was still eyeing him as she got up to go over to where Veronica was fretting with the deserts.

“So that’s the young man you’ve been seeing?” She asked, quietly to her, appraising him with her patented Grandma Sawyer vision. Veronica nodded with a smile. “Slept with him yet?” She asked, bluntly.

Veronica blushed lightly. “Grandma!” Her grandmother shrugged. It wasn’t unlike her, she had always been a direct woman.

“Well, have you?” She asked. “Oh, you know I’d never tell your parents.”

“Yes,” she whispered into her ear nervously. “Since September.” Her grandmother cackled.

“That’s my girl. About time too.” Veronica blushed. “Oh please, it’s a whole new ball game for you girls. There were no contraceptives widely available when I was your age, no right to choose. I say if you want to have fun, then have fun. Your generation deserves to have what we didn't.” Veronica didn’t respond. She assessed him physically with her eyes. “He does wear an awful lot of black-- you girl's like that nowadays?-- but he’s certainly good looking. Handsome face, nice arms-- I like arms, I know you do too,” another blush and giggle, “dark hair-- we Sawyer women like tall, dark, and handsome, that’s for sure-- and a cute tush.” Veronica nudged her.

“Stop checking my boyfriend out,” she chided.

“I’m an old woman Veronica, not dead. Worried I might steal him?” Veronica laughed. She wouldn’t put it past her. Helen Sawyer had loved her husband dearly but she wasn’t opposed to a late in life romance.

“I don’t know,” Veronica kept up with her, “you have been dating your way through your retirement center’s eligible male population for the past year. I’m worried you’ll need some fresh blood soon.” Her grandmother laughed heartily at that.

“Oh cookie, I like this new Veronica. You seem to really be blossoming.” She carefully stroked her granddaughter’s hair.

“I like her too,” Veronica said. She shrugged. “She has fun and a life outside of studying and staying home alone.”

“Good. Now be a good girl and fix your grandmother a sidecar the way I showed you when you were little,” her grandmother told Veronica.

“Of course grandma.” She went to where her parents kept the liquor and started fixing her the drink. 

JD stared at the football game and sat straight up as if he cared about it. The other man on the couch-- Veronica’s uncle-- cheered when a thing with the ball happened and pointed to Veronica’s father. “See that Billy! One in a million.” Her father laughed and agreed with his brother.

“So, uh,” her Uncle Mark said, realizing there was a third male in the living room at that moment. “Jay-Dee was it?” He checked.

“JD,” he told him.

“So,” he asked, noticing the obvious dislike from his brother but trying. “You play football?” He asked, genuinely curious over his niece's boyfriend. Veronica’s father snorted knowingly. 

“No, I don’t,” JD said, doing his best to not make waves at Veronica’s house. As usual, navigating family dynamics was not a strong suit of his.

“Basketball? Hockey?” Her Uncle Mark asked, with little malice, just genuine curiosity. He had been a sports guy his whole life, even playing football in college. He just was never a jerk about it, unlike the pricks of Westerberg.

“He doesn’t play any sports,” her father supplied. 

“Not even the track team?” Her Uncle asked, surprised. He tried another route. “Ah, brainy guy like little Ronnie then, right? Honor Society and all that?” Her father snorted again. Her Uncle was very aware that this might all be a very sensitive topic.

“I only started in September at Westerberg.” Her uncle finally noticed the whole package, realizing at least with outward appearances why his brother might not be his biggest fan. “I’m going to see if Veronica needs help with anything.” He stood up and wandered to the side where she was fixing a drink.

“You’re grandmother keeps staring at me,” JD told her as he walked up next to her, nervous.

“She likes you.” He eyed Veronica and the older woman back and forth confused. She had returned to the couch with her sons to await her cocktail. Veronica was measuring out the drink carefully.

“She’s barely said hello to me.”

“She thinks you’re very attractive, but that you wear too much black.” JD blushed at the older woman’s assessment of his physical attributes and wardrobe. 

“I don’t think your Uncle likes me much either.”

“Uncle Mark?” She asked, surprised. “He likes everyone.”

“He seemed a bit perturbed by the lack of letters on my jacket.” She pish poshed him away.

“He was just being conversational. You haven’t done anything to piss anyone off. I promise.” She finished fixing the cocktail.

“What are you doing?” He asked, realizing she was fixing a complicated alcoholic beverage. She laughed.

“Grandma loves her sidecars.” He smiled as he followed her over to the table as her mother and aunt were starting to bring food out and she placed it at her setting. His stomach growled like a wolf that had gone months without a meal at the sight of a proper Thanksgiving feast. He couldn’t remember his last proper Thanksgiving-- one with a bird and people sitting around a table-- he had had. His father was at home sitting in front of the TV with a beer and a Hungry Man Turkey platter if last year's celebration was any indication of precedent.

They sat down to eat. There was light conversation at the table. A lot of, “oh, guess who died last year?” followed by, “these potatoes are just so good. Did you use cream or milk?” and “your cousin Lewis called.” “What cousin Lewis?” “Your cousin from Idaho Lewis.” “Mom, you have never brought up a cousin from Idaho ever.” Veronica laughed and enjoyed the regular banter as JD just tried to take in the normalcy of it all very confused.

He noticed her aunt barely sat down; she was so concerned with the food until Veronica’s mother forced her to sit down. She stared at JD who didn’t have much to say during the meal.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” She asked.

“Veronica’s boyfriend dear. Please keep up,” her grandmother told her wearily. 

“But Veronica’s only, sorry… fifteen?”

“She’s almost eighteen,” her mother corrected. Her aunt stopped speaking after that and focused on making sure the table looked good, fretting more over her faux paux.

“Honey, really, it’s all fine,” her husband kept trying to console her.

The eating part was over in about thirty minutes and everyone needed a breather before the pies were cut. Her grandmother exited first. As the plates were being cleared away they waited for the food to digest before desert, JD could hardly get over the amazing home cooked holiday meal he had just consumed.

JD stepped outside to get a second of fresh air. He wrinkled his nose as he smelled cigarette smoke. He turned his head and saw Veronica’s grandmother sitting outside near the croquet set taking a drag of a lit cigarette with her sidecar in her other hand. “Can I ask you to keep this a secret young man?” She asked. “My son would murder me if he caught me with one of these. I quit about five years ago. I have one just on special occasions now.”

“Uh,” he was perplexed. He and her son were not exactly buddies as it were. “Don’t worry. He pretty much hates me so I try not to speak to him as much as possible.”

“I know my son. He doesn’t hate you,” she snorted. He looked her up and down. She looked a lot like Veronica probably will when she’s that age, he imagined. Same height and build and her dark hair that streaked now with gray and white. Still lovely though with sharp eyes. Eyes that looked amazingly like Veronica’s own dark brown. “He just loves his daughter a lot.” She smiled. “We all love her. Why do you look so nervous? Jumpy. You keep eyeing the door for an escape route.”

“No, she invited me and I wanted to come.”

“Your own family…?” She asked, delicately.

“It’s just my dad. We don’t really… do holidays.” She nodded.

“Where’s your mother?” She asked curiously but in a way that didn’t bother him quite the same as it usually did when people asked. She seemed more interested because of him than to pity him.

“She died when I was nine.” She nodded.

“Mine died in 1919 giving birth to me in the whore house she worked in in a slum of Chicago,” she told him truthfully and bluntly with no hint of shame. JD started at the admission. “It was a different time,” she shrugged. 

He considered her before bluntly countering with, “mine walked into a library in Texas minutes before it was demolished and I saw the whole thing.”

“Congratulations. You win the Thanksgiving tragedy Olympics of 1989.” He actually and absurdly laughed at that She smiled in response liking him all the more. He sat down next to her on the bench and looked out.

“So how did you manage to wind up here in Sherwood?” He asked, curious.

“I was raised in an orphanage. Very Little Orphan Annie, I assure you save for the insipid singing and the M&M eyes. But I got good war work waiting tables at a USO when I was 21. I met Veronica’s grandfather-- Jack-- that way. He was a pilot about to ship off. Should have seen him. Tall, dark hair, handsome as a devil in that uniform. He worked that pilot charm like you wouldn’t believe,” she said with a nostalgic laugh. JD already knew from Veronica her grandpa had passed away when she was ten. “We met on Monday, married by Thursday, he shipped off Sunday. A lot of people did that back then. The war made people antsy.” She picked her cocktail up and sipped on it. “We were married for forty years and had two kids. I miss him. Especially on the holidays. I will say, it does still amaze me that I have all this lovely family pestering me about my health,” she told him, clearly not really bothered by it. She sat back and considered him more thoroughly. “How long have you been seeing her? She’s my only granddaughter, you’d think she’d fill me in on all these details but oh no, I have to be shocked on Thanksgiving.” He laughed liking the woman quite instantly. 

“Almost four months.” She nodded. 

“She loves you, you know. I can tell.”

“I love her too,” he told her honestly. She patted his arm lovingly. 

“The only concern I have is that my Veronica has options, you understand?” He quirked his head, curiously.

“I don’t know-”

“I didn’t get to go to college, have a career, travel… any of it. That’s fine, it was different in my day. I loved my husband and my sons and that beat washing clothes or working at Macy’s as a salesgirl any day of the week. But it’s different with her. She can do whatever she wants.”

“She can,” JD agreed. “She’s amazing like that. And I have no interest in taking that away from her,” he told her, surprised she might think that. “I want to do that with her,” he said without thinking. “I mean-”

“No, it’s okay. I believe you. So long as she goes to school and figures out what she wants in addition to you,” She told him, honestly. Veronica poked her head out looking for either of them.

“Grandma? Have you seen JD? Are you- Oh, there you both are,” Veronica said as she stepped outside to join them. She looked disappointed. “I smell a cigarette.”

“I assure you it was for medicinal purposes only.” She glared at her grandmother then reached for JD’s hand. 

“Come on, it’s pie time. I’m just glad Aunt Lisa decided to buy the Breyer’s and not churn it herself like she claimed she was going to.” They laughed as they headed inside.

Meanwhile on the front porch Veronica’s father and Uncle were talking over a beer in each of their hands. “So what’s the deal? I’ve never seen you like this.” Bill Sawyer’s brother, Mark, asked him. “What did this kid do to make you really dislike him? Does he keep her out late? Affecting that 4.0 of hers? Syl doesn’t seem to mind the boy as much.” He had been a bit surprised by how openly disdainful his brother was over Veronica’s boyfriend. Albeit, to his knowledge his niece had never brought another home with her to compare reactions.

Bill just shook his head. “He’s bad news. He gets into fights, he has no plans for the future and-”

“And he’s a boy that’s dating Veronica. Okay, okay, relax. I get it, this is new for you. She's never brought a boy home before. Let alone one that tall and capable looking wearing that much black and tough guy boots. What did you think? That she’d be celibate her whole life?” Bill groaned.

“I can dream, can’t I?” Mark laughed.

“Yeah, yeah and I get it: you always thought she’d bring home someone just like you.” He laughed. “And that kid is as far from you as she could get.”

“Oh, that is not-”

“No, admit it! You were hoping for some meek accountant. Preferably one from Sherwood so they could buy a house close to you. You hate that she doesn’t want that.”

“That’s unfair.”

“I’m sorry,” Mark said as he sipped his beer. “I remember when she was little too. She was a cute rugrat, I’ll admit. Remember how dad used to chase her around like a bear and she’d squeal in delight?” They both smiled at the happy memory of Veronica and their father, both of them missing his boisterous presence in their family. “Well, I see where she gets her fascination with tall, dark, and dangerous,” he said, thinking of his own father. Bill blanched at him. “What? She’s just like mom sometimes. You do remember that when he met mom, our dad flew bomber daredevil missions over Germany, right? One of the more dangerous things a guy could do at the time and he volunteered for it."

"I hardly see-"

"Look at it this way, at least he doesn't have a motorcycle," he joked, as he eyed the falling apart piece of junk the boy arrived in.

“Oh god, thank you for small miracles,” Bill Sawyer said. His wife opened the window to call out to her husband and his brother. 

“I’m cutting pie now, you two. And Mark? Please tell your wife Cool-Whip or Redi-Whip next time. She’s seriously whipping actual cream right now.” Mark laughed.

“Hey, I eat real pesto now too. You should try it.” They all laughed as they walked in to eat pie. “She really is on this whole ‘make it from scratch’ kick. Hope it passes soon. She made real mac and cheese last week, not a Kraft box.”

A little while later after pie as the “adults” were talking and enjoying themselves Veronica and JD were lying in her bed upright with his arm around her and her head resting on his chest as they were watching the small television screen showing the A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. He was laughing as Veronica mouthed the words, “where’s the mashed potatoes?” along with Peppermint Patty. She promised at Christmas time if he was lucky he could see her interpretation of Snoopy’s dance in the Christmas special.

A minute later a knock on the open door frame occurred. They detangled even though all they’d been doing was cuddling fully clothed. “Veronica, your grandmother’s heading out for the night and I think maybe it’s time JD headed home too, don’t you?” Her mother asked. They grumbled as they got out of the bed and JD put his boots back on. “It was nice having you,” her mother told him in an attempt to make up for her husband’s unwelcoming behavior. “I put a lot of the leftover turkey in Tupperware for you to bring home,” she told him, knowing the food was going to a place that needed it. “You know your father could have joined us if he wanted to,” she added, even though she suspected that he did not want to.

“He had other plans,” JD said diplomatically. “But thank you Mrs. Sawyer. For everything.”

They headed out and said their goodnights, Veronica kissed JD goodbye as he left first since his car blocked the others in. He nodded towards her grandmother who nodded back, glad he had come. 

Next her Aunt and Uncle left, telling them they would see them soon at Christmas. Her Aunt Lisa promised homemade fruit cake, and everyone fake told her they couldn’t wait. Lastly her grandma pulled Veronica into a tight hug before leaving. 

“I like the two of you together, cookie. It feels right.” Veronica smiled and her grandmother headed home.

* * *

Not long after JD headed into the house he and his dad shared. At that moment he felt the drastic change in atmosphere more than he ever had. He never thought he’d ever admit it, but he had liked sitting at a table and sharing a holiday meal even if he had kept largely silent. He could hear the TV in the living room blaring and saw his dad sitting there with a beer in his hand.

“There’s some turkey, gravy, potatoes-- all that stuff if you want some,” JD called to him as he started unpacking the leftovers. He heard his father groan as he got up and stumbled over to the kitchen, intoxicated but not far gone. JD spotted the empty cans in the trash knowing it had been a bit of a marathon night for him. Holidays usually were for him. Luckily he didn’t see the whiskey bottle that was on top of the fridge move from the position it had been when he left for the evening. A Thanksgiving miracle.

“How was dinner with your girlfriend’s family?” Bud asked him, with a twinge of resentment in his voice. _If you wanted to come you could have asked,_ JD internally moaned. _Three more months until I’m eighteen. Three more months._ “Any pie?” Bud asked. JD sighed as his father decided to grab for the Wild Turkey bottle. His tone shifted. “Your mother used to make a-” 

_He must be drunk to say that._ JD didn’t want to know what kind of pies his mother used to make for holidays at that moment. “There’s some apple right here. Go for it,” he told him tersely. His father took two glasses down and poured a shot in each. He passed one over to his son. JD stared at it. 

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Bud said. JD decided to humor the man and picked it up and allowed the brown liquid to pour down his gullet at the same time his dad did. Bud tried to pour him a second one but he didn’t want to join his father in this wallow fest for the holiday's past he was surely in the middle of.

“It’s been a long night. I’m tired.”

Whenever his dad tried to get him to drink with him he wondered if his dad really understood that he was his son, not a potential drinking buddy.

He took the cordless and went up to his room. He rolled in his own second small travel TV and locked the door behind him in case his father’s mood changed from wallowing to resentment-- or worst case scenario-- anger at any moment. He checked his watch and saw it was only nine. He rang Veronica hoping she would pick it up and not her folks.

“Hello?” Luckily it was Veronica.

“What are you wearing?” He asked in a low voice, teasingly. She laughed charmingly. He smiled to himself as he started undressing for bed.

“Give me a second to go to my room. Thank goodness dad splurged on a cordless last month.” He chuckled as he heard her shuffle to her room and lock the door behind her. “So, I have on,” she said slowly and in her best deep sexy voice, “fuzzy slippers, sweatpants, and an oversized t-shirt with Camp Snoopy’s logo from two years ago when we went to Knott’s Berry Farm,” she told him as she settled into bed. “But underneath that? Nothing at all.” He laughed. “And You?”  
  
“Black crotchless panties,” he told her stone cold serious. “Oh, and a smile.” Her laughter burst out over the phone and quickly stifled it worrying about alerting her parents. 

“Shut up. You do not. You only own blue ones.” He chuckled to himself as he flipped the channels. 

“You still have the TV in your room?” He asked.

“Yeah, what channel?” They’d done this a few times now. They’d find a show or a movie on and watch it together making jokes or comments when she couldn’t come over until her parents got annoyed at her tying up the phone line.

“Two. Looks like Superman 2 is on.”

“Sounds good,” she said after she turned on the TV and snuggled under her blanket. “I hope you don’t mind that I admit to the teensiest crush on Christopher Reeve, do you?” He plopped down on his own bed.

“Crap. I’ll have to kill him now in a rage of jealousy. Nah, that’s fine. I can accept it. I’m more charming though, right?”

“Of course you are Mr. Dean.” They both loved how easy banter between them could be. He tried to picture her, in that chaotic room of hers in her pajamas under her blankets watching TV-- her hair loose and unstyled and without any makeup or other frippery. He wished he was still laying next to her, holding her.

“Tell me the truth, do you have Mr. Hopper in your arms right now?” Somewhere in Veronica’s room she tossed her stuffed rabbit to the other side of the room.

“No!” She said, lying. “That would be ludicrous. A stuffed rabbit. Ha.” He chuckled and they watched the movie together. It seemed odd, but hearing each other breathe, laugh, and make comments over the phone was almost as intimate than if they had been together in person. “Did you like having dinner with us?” She asked, yawning. He realized he should let her go to sleep soon.

“I did. Thank you. I really liked meeting your grandma.”

“She’s the best. Also, you’re already coming for Christmas too. Grandma already commanded it, so it’s settled,” she told him with a laugh. A short time later he heard her mom telling her to get off the phone. She said good night and they both hung up to hit the hay.

It was his first Thanksgiving with the Sawyer’s. It was not his last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments-- all are loved. :P


	3. A Christmas They Never Forgot (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Veronica invites JD over to celebrate Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Tis the season! So... this Christmas story kind of became 50 pages, lol. I decided to split in half and give you part one now and then part 2 in a week to stretch out the Christmas-y-ness of it all.
> 
> The title is a reference to an episode of Little House on the Prairie Christmas episode (season 8-- it's on IMDB TV to stream and a bootleg on dailymotion, won't link but you can find it) I had a tape of as a kid and used to watch over and over until I warped the tape out.

**Christmas Eve  
** **1989**

“What time did you tell JD to come over?” Veronica's mother asked her as they were getting the nice plates out of the bureau and her father struggled to put the extra wood block into their dining room table in preparation for the family coming over and Christmas Eve leading into Christmas Day to begin. “Where is the nice table cloth?” She asked herself out loud. 

“I told him six, like you said. And I think it has a large wine stain on it from last year when you knocked the glass over, a little… well, you know,” Veronica teased. Her mother shot her a “look.”

“There it is,” she said, finding it tucked away. “Well, we’ll just put the platter over the stain,” she said, with a shrug.

Her father had been mum on the whole topic of JD joining them for Christmas. Not even a smidgen of grumbling or mumbling. Veronica had hoped it was progress in his mind. After all the drama the previous weeks ago with getting him out of his father’s house and knowing that he was tentatively planning a future seemed to start changing his tone on JD. A bit at least.

They weren’t in unnecessary speaking terms yet, but his presence at Christmas was not contested. Although she couldn’t help but assume her grandmother’s decree had something to do with that.

Every year her grandma and uncle-- and now her aunt she realized-- would come over for dinner and spend the night to do Christmas morning all together. It was a hold over from when she was very little and they all wanted to do “Christmas morning” with her and watch her open her presents as she was the only baby and kid on that side of her family. She had more cousins than she could count on her mother’s side since her mother had three older sisters but those grandparents seldom ever made the trip out for the holidays. 

Then again her mother always kept her family more at a distance than her father did-- Veronica always felt weird asking why-- and they made courtesy visits every now and then but she never felt close to those grandparents or her aunts and cousins for some reason, possibly because her mother’s mother was very old fashioned and religious and it was clear her mother was only tolerating it out of familial obligation. She always received Victorian nightwear for Christmas presents and vaguely Christian themed teen problem solving books for her birthday since hitting about twelve. She would, of course, politely say thank you for them and smile and hug them when she visited, but the truth was she and her father’s mother would always have a closer grandparental relationship and she was okay with that.

Regardless, Veronica thought this Christmas was as good as any to celebrate. Things had changed. They had really changed and that meant they should celebrate hard.

After helping to put the plates and the table out she announced she’d go upstairs and change to get ready for the guests to arrive. So she went upstairs to shower and dry and style her hair and put on a lovely dress for the occasion. Veronica had decided to get quite dolled up for Christmas Eve this year since it wasn’t just her family coming over but her steady boyfriend as well, making a second appearance at her family’s holiday festivities. Veronica had carefully picked out a tasteful but lovely ensemble to wear for the evening. Her pumps with the kitten heels slid on to her feet, ready to match. She carefully slid on her bangle bracelet and selected a snowflake pendant necklace-- Grandma Sawyer had found a very lovely one two Christmases ago to give her-- to compliment the entire ensemble. She glanced in the mirror and was quite pleased with the sexy and classy young woman she saw. 

“Don’t you look nice,” her mother commented upon seeing her come into the kitchen to help. Her mother was prepping the roasted chicken and putting the sides to go in at the same time. 

“Thank you,” Veronica beamed as she snuck a bite of the stuffing. Her mother admonished her.

“I really do like that dress on you,” she complemented. “Say what you will about Heather Chandler,” she said, glad she had stopped coming around, though never prodding over what may have happened. “But the girl did have good taste.” Veronica momentarily bristled, remembering that this had been purchased on a major shopping trip with Heather back in the fall. Well, she had been ordered to buy it was more like it. She wistfully thought back to the saved allowances and birthday money she had used up on that trip buying herself her new wardrobe as one of the pretty popular people. Well, what was done was done. At the end of it she did like the clothes and the way they made her look and feel so perhaps Heather Chandler had actually been right when she ascertained that Veronica had a nice figure and she needed to show it off more. It was true, she wasn’t a little girl anymore, she shouldn’t dress like one.

“It’s just, honey, it’s Christmas with grandma and your Aunt and Uncle,” her mother continued, “I don’t see-” She stopped and laughed. “Oh, that’s right. It’s your first Christmas with a boyfriend coming over.” Veronica bristled at her mother’s on the nose interpretation of her ensemble and the knowing way she said “boyfriend.” So what if she was trying to look a little lovely and sophisticated for him? “You better check on his present,” she said, wanting it out of the house as soon as possible. “I assume you want to leave it in your room until it’s time to give it to him?” 

Veronica nodded as she snagged a piece of shrimp and dipped it in the cocktail sauce. She better enjoy the shrimp now. Once her grandmother and uncle were there it was a fight for who would be able to eat the shrimp in the Sawyer family. A fight that blood was shed over.

“Don’t worry mom,” Veronica promised her. “It’ll be out of the house soon enough.”

“Good,” she said, not liking having things like that in her home. Veronica laughed. How could she possibly get down on a lovely Christmas Eve like this? After all, this was an important Christmas. The first JD was going to have in this new timeline, this new life. It was most decidedly a Christmas miracle just as important as the ones The Smurfs, Garfield, and even Mr. Magoo had witnessed. 

“Honey, help me put out the appetizer nibbles for when everyone gets here.” They were in little Christmas tree shaped glass serving dishes-- received as wedding presents and only used once a year-- and contained some sweet gherkins, cheese, some crackers, olives, shrimp and cocktail sauce. It was the same appetizer nibbles she always put out for the holidays.

Veronica also set out some bottles of wine, sherry for dessert, the fixings for Grandma’s sidecar, and some sodas. She wondered briefly if she had to wait until she was actually twenty one before she’d be allowed to have a glass of wine with her family at Christmas. She knew some girls at school who were allowed wine or champagne at weddings and holidays but she knew her mother would be cross if she tried it without asking.

She heard her dad come inside. He had been fixing some of their lights and he stamped some excess snow from his boots. “Hey peanut, come look!” He called. “I think I got that dead string fixed.” 

“One second dad,” Veronica said heading towards the door. He stopped when he saw how she was dressed.

“Veronica, don’t you, uh, think that outfit is a bit too much for Christmas Eve with family?” He chided. Veronica looked down. Yes, her cleavage looked banging in it, but as far as skirt length went it was more modest than she usually wore.

“She wants to look nice for her boyfriend dear. Leave her alone,” her mother called, having barely heard him but assuming that was what he was griping about, as she pulled the oven door open to check on the chicken roasting inside. “She’s almost eighteen what she is wearing is both trendy and age appropriate.” Veronica smiled at her mother’s defense.

“Can’t you at least put on a sweater?” He grumbled, uncomfortable and awkwardly eyeing the amount of cleavage his teenage daughter had exposed. At least the hemline was modestly just above her knee. “It’s cold outside.”

“Yes dad,” she groaned reaching for the blue cable knit she had brought down with her in case it was chilly and her father started grumbling. It was long and hit her knees covering up most of the dress, but it was warm for now. She slipped it over her head, though she fully intended to at least take it off when she answered the door for JD to come in. 

She couldn’t wait for his slow charming smile and some kind of, “well, don’t you look nice,” that she’ll demurely pshaw away with something funny and cheesy like, “what? This old thing?” They’ll laugh and she’ll pull him inside by the collar of his coat with a kiss. It’s too bad no one in real life actually buys mistletoe or she’d insist on sneaking a few kisses with him underneath it before joining her family.

She was giddy. She couldn’t help it. It was Christmas and everything was going splendiferously.

She followed her dad outside to see the lights and rubbed her hands together for warmth. It was chilly, but it wasn’t too bad. Thankfully it had snowed a couple of inches the night before so it was warmer in general than if there hadn’t been any. It left the house and the night with a terribly Christmas-y look Veronica quite enjoyed.

“So, how does it look?” Her dad asked, excitedly. “I think I managed to finish tinkering just in time for Christmas Eve.” They laughed. He always loved showing off the lights to her since she was a little girl and viewed the decorations as a constant work in progress. He wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her as they looked at the twinkles all around the house and the cheesy Santa’s sleigh set up in the lawn they’d had for as long as she could remember.

“A masterpiece like always,” she assured him, glad for his hug for both the camaraderie and the warmth. Being fashionable and not cold did not always go hand and hand.

Just at that moment they heard the first of the guests pull up in the driveway. They turned and saw her uncle and aunt pull up in his Buick. She was prepared for her to be a little more excitable than normal. One week following Thanksgiving her Aunt told them she was six weeks pregnant and gushed profoundly. Understandably everyone was very excited to be having a new baby in the family next year. Her mother had also warned her in advance that being in her first trimester was hardly a cake walk and they needed to humor her a bit more than usual.

They all equitably greeted each other and her uncle insisted on giving her the tight hug that lifted her off the ground as he always did when he greeted her. “And I’m so happy for you guys!” Veronica gushed to her Uncle and Aunt.

“I know,” he told her. “Finally giving you a little cousin to play with, huh?” He joked. She laughed back, knowing that was a little odd given the large gap they’d have in ages. As they walked in chatting, her Aunt Lisa foisted one of her many boxes in her arms. 

“Oh, I just can’t wait Veronica. Open part of your gift now!” She told her excitedly.

“Um,” Veronica said nervously, tugging on her long cable knit sweater that hit her knees. “Really?” She nervously laughed. “I can wait until morning with everyone else, really.” 

“Oh stop it. I was told all about how you always beg to open your presents early, so go for it!” Veronica laughed nervously.  _ Yeah, when I was ten.  _ But she let it go. Her aunt smiled brilliantly then ran into the living room to start unpacking all the other gifts under the tree leaving Veronica with the mystery box. 

“Veronica, I want to apologize in advance,” her uncle told her quietly. “She insisted on taking care of all the shopping this year.” Veronica tried not to let her disappointment show. For most of her life her uncle was the “cool bachelor uncle” that gave her the cool gifts at holidays and birthdays. Last year it was a Walkman, when she was young a pair of roller skates. He had been responsible all her life for whistles, yo-yos, sticky candy, and any assortment of gifts that would annoy her father. She shook the box in her hands with trepidation. 

Clothes. It sounded like clothes. A pit grew in her stomach. Veronica looked over at her aunt’s own lovely demure yet conservative beige skirt that hit her ankles and long sleeved white top with a simple patterned vest.  _ She doesn’t have bad taste, _ she tried to console herself.  _ Maybe it’s a cute sweater or blouse? _

“Oh Veronica please, hurry up! You’ll want to wear it tonight.” Cold whipped through her as she turned to her mother who had come in to greet everyone. Her mother’s look was sympathetic. Veronica had an outfit already picked. She was wearing it. It was the one she had planned particularly to greet her boyfriend with on this fine Christmas Eve.

“Oh, um, thanks Aunt Lisa but-” She turned and smiled at Veronica, excitedly putting packages under the tree. She just looked so excited in general it made Veronica’s heart lurch worrying that perhaps she might be guilted into-

“Veronica’s on her way up to her room right now!” Her mom supplied for her. She tossed her mother a  _ look.  _ She sidled up to her.

“Honey,” she whispered. “She’s in her first trimester. She’s moody, tired, and nauseous-- often all at the same time. She can not drink and she may not even want dinner. Or she'll want all of it. Just put whatever it is on and make her happy. It’s probably just a Christmas sweater. You can pretend you're warm when he gets here and take it off then.” Veronica put on a forced smile and nodded.

“Can’t wait Aunt Lees!” She agreed and saw her excited look.

“I also went on a mad baking spree! Cookies, cakes, I’ve got desert more than covered,” she cried from the living room where the tree was. “I’ve got enough bricks of homemade fruitcake for everyone!”

“Great!” Her mother said tightly and trying to hard. She turned to Veronica in terror. “Fruitcake Veronica, you hear that? Fruitcake.” Veronica made her escape to her room.

A few minutes later Veronica called her mother up to her room desperately.

“I am absolutely not wearing this tonight,” Veronica told her quietly through clenched teeth up in her room. It was not a sweater. It was not a blouse. It was a dress. It was red. With long sleeves. And a white pinafore front and peter pan collar. Etched on the pinafore was holly. It looked like Laura Ashley, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Holly Hobby all got together for some drunken Christmas office party and broke the Xerox machine. 

Honestly, it looked like something a 10 year old girl would want to wear on Christmas,  _ not _ an almost eighteen year old woman. She couldn’t believe it even came in her size; it was so painfully little girl. It even came with a set of white stockings-- why when the skirt hit her ankles?-- she definitely refused to wear, sticking at least with her black pantyhose instead. She was honestly amazed her moderate sized bust crammed into the thing as it was not designed with the idea that the wearer would have a décolletage to want to show off. Or legs for that matter. Or even arms. 

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not that-” Her mother said as slid her head into the room not looking. “Oh my-” she said, blinking at the dress in disbelief. “Oh honey! It’s darling!” Her mother said, trying-- and failing-- to keep her laughter in. She cupped her cheeks delighted. “You look adorable. Just like you did when you were little at Christmas,” she cooed as Veronica glared. “I remember when you loved Little House. And there’s even a holly stitched into the pinafore!” Veronica did not want to look “darling,” or “adorable.” And particularly not, “just like she did when she was little at Christmas.” Her mother giggled as she patted the sleeves.

“Mom, this isn’t funny.” Her mother stopped, realizing how annoyed Veronica was over this. “Does she know how old I am? Honestly?” Her mother looked at her with sympathy finally and shrugged. “This is a little girl’s dress,” she said plainly and with a pout she couldn’t help. She knew she was sounding ungrateful and petulant and Veronica didn’t like to complain about gifts. It was the thought that counted, she knew that, but she couldn’t help but think in regards to the preteen dress she was wearing,  _ then what do you think of me? _

“She means well,” her mother said diplomatically, delicately touching the poofs on the sleeves. “and like I said the first trimester is pretty awful. I think she just doesn’t realize being almost 18 doesn’t mean pinafore dresses.” Veronica groaned. She honestly didn’t have the heart to hurt her aunt’s feelings. That is until she realized-

“Oh no. I can not let JD see me in this!” She exclaimed, clutching the fabric. Her mother smoothed the sleeve with sympathy. He was due over any minute. “Come on, surely she knew I had a boyfriend coming over.”

“Veronica, a lot has been going on for them this month. You can’t expect them to keep your dating life straight,” she reminded her. Veronica relented. She was right.

“I’m going to have to wear it tonight, aren’t I?” She asked, annoyed.

“It’s one night,” her mom sighed and told her plainly. “Honestly, just tell him it was a gift and she insisted on you wearing it. If JD really cares about you he’ll understand you are only wearing this to make your aunt feel better.” Veronica lamented in defeat. “Your generosity, politeness, and warmth are why he likes you I imagine.” Veronica eyed her mother buttering her up with complements. She then looked over on her bed at the cute dress that showed off her chest and legs pleasantly she had planned on wearing to show off how sexy and mature she was to her serious boyfriend. Her mother empathized but ultimately knew this was the more kinder option. “If it makes you feel better I told her I’d go to Penny's for the after Christmas sale with her tomorrow and help her shop for maternity pants. Trust me, nothing is less fun than looking at how ugly maternity clothes are and realizing you’ll spend the next few months in clothes that don’t look any different than they did in the fifties.” Veronica nodded, realizing they both were making sacrifices.

“Fine. I know. I’ll be nice about it. But not one picture!” Veronica threatened. Her mother laughed and nodded in agreement.

“Not one? It'll make your grandmother in Indiana so happy to see you dressed so conservatively,” she joked. Veronica glared. “Okay, okay. I know it’s not fair. I won’t make any jokes. Look, you wear it tonight, then we’ll wait the requisite time and put it in the charity pile. If she even remembers about this once the baby is born, we’ll say you outgrew it.”

“Okay. Okay.” Her mother then turned to her desk and glared at JD’s gift.

“One more thing, he’s definitely taking that with him when he leaves, right?”

“Yes mom. One more night of your life with it in your house won’t kill you,” she laughed.

“Good. And neither will dressing like the Little House on the Prairie Christmas Special for one night,” she quipped to Veronica’s dislike.

“Veronica! Sylvia!” Her Aunt’s voice called from the living room. “I’m desperate to see if it looks good on her!” Veronica sighed in resignation. “Also, I put the Brussel sprouts in to start roasting and am just seasoning the gravy a bit more.” Veronica did her best to put on a fake smile as her mother resigned to let her overtake her kitchen. 

“Just a moment Aunt Lisa!” She started to march out the door when her mother held up the hair piece. Veronica had nearly forgotten about the hair piece it came with. It was a matching set after all.

“Um, don’t forget the matching bow,” her mom said, barely hiding her laughter. With a resigned sigh she let her mother afix the matching Christmas bow to her hair.

She made her way down the stairs. “Oh good! It fits!” Her aunt squealed.

“Yep, sure does. Though a bit tight in the chest,” she mumbled. Her mother nudged her. “Thank you.”

“Don’t you just love it?! I can’t wait until your cousin can wear things like this. Boy or girl. I can’t help but peek at all the toddler and little kid clothes!” 

Veronica’s brow furrowed. Her baby excitement was genuine, it was hard to be mad at her. She went to the living room where her Uncle and her father were. Her uncle knitted his brows knowing it was not the best gift in the world. “Well,” her dad said, pleased she had changed into a modest outfit. “I like this dress much better,” he joked.

“I’m sure you do Dad,” she told him with an edge to her voice. Veronica snagged a sugar cookie and began nibbling on it-- at least her aunt’s giddiness had translated to an excellent batch of cookies-- when she heard JD’s car slash loud music playing from it pull up and turn off. She squealed happily.

“He’s here!” She ran off to the door.

“They’re still together?” Her uncle asked her father amused.

“They’re still together,” he responded tonelessly.

Excited and without thinking she leapt up and opened the door wrapping her arms around herself as she waited outside for him to arrive, hoping for some Christmas kisses before they joined her family.

He got out of his car with a large bag in his hand and made his way up the walkway before spotting her waiting for him. JD stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Veronica at the doorway. He looked her up and down with a blank face and burst into absolute side splitting laughter over what she assumed was her outfit. Her smile instantly turned down and her whole body collapsed. So much for a sophisticated and fun, “hey sexy,” compliment she had hoped for.

Instead of wallowing though she squared her shoulders and looked straight at him. “Okay, get it out. Get it all out now,” she told him calmly as his laughter continued and her foot tapped. “My Aunt insisted on getting this for me. She insisted on me wearing it tonight. I did not want to hurt her feelings, she’s pregnant after all, so I will wear it for one night of my life.” He continued to laugh as he reached her at the door and looked at her with sympathy. He had an old black sweater-- it had some holes but wasn’t too noticeable-- on underneath his regular trench coat-- seriously? Did he change out of it for any weather?-- and she slipped her arms underneath it and around his side for warmth.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry this was just not what I expected,” he said looking down at her fully clothed upper torso and the longest skirt he’d ever seen her in no matter the weather when she didn’t wear her cigarette jeans. “You look very, um, sweet,” he said, too late realizing he could hurt her feelings.

“Just kiss me already and make me forget that I have it on.” His mouth up ticked in a smile.

“What is it about kissing me that makes you always want to fling your clothes off?” He joked with a smirk, making her momentarily forget about the outfit and remember how much she loved him. She smiled and laughed as she leaned up and took his kiss. She was thoroughly enjoying it until-

She turned her head more upward and they heard the faint jingle of bells from the hair bow. 

That’s right. It had bells. She jingled.

“Oh my God!” He exclaimed, pulling away from her and eyeing the bow in her hair. “You jingle too!” He said, reaching out and touching the bow to hear the noise, peeling into fresh laughs.

“Yes,” she responded tersely. “I jingle.” She turned to him and glared. “You know, I put out for you. You may want to think about that before laughing another minute.” He looked at her with sympathy and crooked his head.

“Hey, hey. I’m sorry okay? I won’t hold it against you anymore?” He reached out and took her chin by his thumb and forefinger and turned her face to look into his eyes. He flashed one of his charming smiles at her and she melted. 

“Fine, but no more teasing me about it?” He leaned in and kissed her.

“No more teasing, I promise. Come here.” They were now kissing in earnest-- ignoring the jingles-- when she heard the last car for the evening pull up. It was her grandmother’s small little brown Camaro. She got out and walked up just as JD pulled away from her lips.

“I hope I’m interrupting an intimate moment,” she laughed as she saw them with his arms still around her. 

“It’s good to see you too grandma,” she said separating from JD’s arms. Her grandmother did a double take as she saw the hideously ugly outfit Veronica was in.

“Oh dear lord, cookie,” her grandma said, putting her hand to her heart in shock. “Wherever did that hideous outfit come from?” She asked aghast. “And why would you wear-?”

“Aunt Lisa got it for me,” Veronica told her and her grandmother instantly understood. “Mom says she’s three weeks pregnant and we can’t hurt her feelings right now.” Her grandmother sighed and nodded, agreeing.

“That explains a lot. Of course. It’s just- It’s just-” Her grandmother was at a loss of words. 

“She jingles,” JD supplied. They both started laughing again.

“That’s right. I jingle. Are we through?” Her grandma clucked in sympathy, pulling her tweed coat around her.

“Jason, can you go get the packages and food from my car dear? I’m afraid my hip is giving me trouble. They’re all in the back seat.” JD smiled and did as he was asked.

“Not a problem at all, um, Mrs. Sawyer,” he told her, unsure if that was what he was supposed to call her.

“Stop it. Mrs. Sawyer are my daughter-in-laws,” she corrected. “You can call me Helen dear.” He nodded and went to her car to get her gifts and food from the back seat for her after handing his over to Veronica.

“Your hip doesn’t-” Veronica said, confused. Her grandma nudged her. Her grandmother watched carefully as JD bent over and grabbed all the bags approvingly, eying him from behind the whole time. Veronica nudged her back.

“Hey! I told you he’s mine.” The older woman just laughed. 

“Oh, just give an old woman a thrill cookie. I hate to see him go but I do love watching him walk away.” Veronica nudged her again but couldn’t help but laugh.

The door swung open at that moment and her aunt was right there. “Mother Sawyer!” Her grandmother inwardly cringed. 

“Hello dear,” she said, still not liking being called that. “I thought it was you.” They went inside as her aunt cooed over Veronica.

“Doesn’t our Ronnie just look the sweetest? I got it on sale at Penny’s. I just love it.”

“She looks wonderful,” her grandmother lied. The three of them came into the house, JD carrying all of her grandmother’s packages. 

“Where should I-?”

“Oh Jason, hello,” Sylvia said as Veronica took some of them and moved them to the living room to put under the tree. “Merry Christmas.”

“Mrs. Sawyer,” JD nodded. “Um, merry Christmas,” he responded. Christmas. He had been 8 the last time he’d had a Christmas with a real meal, presents, a tree and everything. It was not something he was used to, but Veronica insisted on him coming over for Christmas Eve, spending the night like her family always did at her house, and spending Christmas Day with them too. He wasn’t aware how overwhelming that might actually be.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Veronica’s aunt asked upon seeing the tall boy in a black trench coat enter the home with the packages in his arm.

“JD,” her grandmother said, trying to contain her exasperation. “Veronica’s boyfriend. You met him at Thanksgiving.”

Her aunt suddenly stared at the very tall boy in black and boots as he took his coat off to reveal a black sweater that perhaps had seen better days and trying to remember. A lot had happened over the course of the month for her. “Oh, um, yes,” she said with a smile. Veronica grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the living room as he grabbed his package.

“I, um, bought one of those tins of popcorn you always see in the store,” he told her, holding up one of his bags. “I hope that’s good,” 

“I told you specifically you didn’t have to bring anything,” she told him. He shrugged assuming that meant he had to anyway. “But this is great!” Veronica tried to assure him. “Mom put out the appetizers but popcorn is always welcome. And the tin has Snoopy on it!” She laughed as she took it from him and set it up on the side. 

“You promised me a Snoopy dance,” he whispered to her. She smirked.

“I said if you’re lucky. Jury’s still out. Oh, don’t worry, I set some shrimp to the side for you before it was all gone.” 

“Best girlfriend ever,” he teased taking the little shrimp to the sauce.

“I know. Just wait until you see your present,” she warned him playfully. “It’s pretty great.” Instead he got nervous.

“Mine’s not the best, so don’t-”

“Hush. I’m sure it’s great. You didn’t really have to get me anything.” He shrugged. "Now, let me walk you through the appetizer table," she joked.

As she led him away from her mother and aunt her aunt stared at them perplexed. “Is she really old enough for a boyfriend? And isn’t he much too old for her?” She asked Sylvia a little too bluntly, out of Veronica’s earshot. “I mean, he must be, what? How old? Gosh, I’m awful at ages.” 

“They’re the same age,” Sylvia told her sister-in-law confused. “They go to school together. She’s nearly eighteen now.” 

“Oh,” she said, looking at the two of them slightly differently as she noticed his hand automatically touched her back and he ran his fingers up and down her spine causing her smile to brighten around him. 

She shook her head and went back to the kitchen. “I just want to help some more. I can mash the potatoes if you-” Sylvia tightened her smile trying not to hurt her sister-in-law’s feelings but also wanting her out of her kitchen. 

“Why don’t you get off your feet? I promise you dinner's nearly ready. We’re not eating for a bit and you must be tired. Go sit down,” she told her firmly, “please,” she added for effect.

“Are you sure? I just-”

“Yes,” Mrs. Sawyer told her resolutely as she shooed her away in her Christmas apron.

Out in the living room her father, uncle, and grandmother sat comfortable over the Sawyer’s furniture in the shadow of the brightly lit tree. JD looked at it with an odd sense of remembrance of the time when he was little and there were lights and trees. “Compliment the lights,” Veronica whispered to JD. 

“Huh?” He responded.

“To my dad. On the house. Do it. Trust me.” Veronica brought JD out to where her father and uncle were in the living room as her grandmother put her things under the tree. “Hello,” he said awkwardly to them. “Um, merry Christmas.”

“Uncle Mark you remember my boyfriend, right?”

“The boyfriend. Yes,” he agreed warmly. “Merry Christmas.” She and JD sat on the couch together and in habit he raised his own arm and put it around her. Veronica smiled at the act of slight possessiveness and didn’t miss the look that passed between her father and uncle. In worry he almost took it away but Veronica held him in place wanting to establish his permanency and status in her life around her family. Her grandmother smiled warmly at it. The four of them sat in the living room in silence.

“Um, the lights on the house look great Mr. Sawyer,” JD automatically replied.

“Thank you Jason. We work hard on them every year,” he told him proudly. Veronica nudged him in gratitude.

“Put the music on!” Her mother called out from the kitchen. “I set the Christmas records out.” Her aunt came out from the kitchen and went to the player and picked one out. 

“Aw, The Muppets and John Denver. How sweet!” She cooed.

“That was Ronnie’s favorite,” her dad said as she placed the record on the turnstile and put the needle on. Veronica squirmed in nervousness. “You loved Kermit,” he said fondly as she heard “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” JD turned to her and smiled.

“Kermit, huh?” He asked, with a smile quirked up.

“Well, everyone loves Kermit,” she said, growing uncomfortable.

“You wrote him a fan letter!” Her father reminded her. She squirmed in her seat, slightly embarrassed. “In crayon and insisted I mail it.” They all laughed to Veronica’s mild discomfort.

“Aw, I remember she would always scream along with Miss Piggy’s part. Remember Ronnie? Five golden rings!” Her uncle laughed as that part came on.   


She laughed awkwardly as JD turned to her and smiled. “Yeah, I was, like, eight,” she iterated. Her aunt sat down next to her uncle and he put his own arm around his wife. _ There, that’s how it should be _ , Veronica thought. She liked this. They were all adults-- well, her almost-- with their significant others sitting around having a nice pleasant and quiet Christmas.

“Aw, I love Christmases with little kids. Makes it more jolly.” Her uncle turned and kissed her head.

“Next one,” he promised. “Aw man though, I remember this kid over here was a nut on Christmas Eve,” he laughed. Veronica bristled.

“Uncle Mark…” He ignored her.

“I’m surprised she hasn’t yet! But right about this time she’s usually sniffing around the presents, shaking them, begging to start opening them.” Veronica squirmed, feeling uncomfortable. 

“Awww,” her aunt cooed.

“Did you?” JD asked, honestly amused.

“It was a long time ago,” she repeated. 

“Long time?” Her Uncle said with a laugh. “It was like-”

“Darling, please,” her grandmother warned them, noticing Veronica’s uncomfortableness over being treated like a small child. He did.

“Oh, dad,” Veronica said, changing the subject. “JD’s been doing great doing the deliveries for the drugstore.”

“Yeah?” He asked, genuinely surprised. Veronica prompted him with her nudging him with her elbow mid bite of pickle.

“Go on, tell him.” JD shifted, still trying to learn how to navigate socializing with her family. A part of him wanted to just take her back to his place, order Chinese food, and enjoy the night just the two of them but he understood her family was important to her. He was touched to know how much she wanted him to be a part of it even if he had difficulty getting used to it.

Or accepting how much she liked to tout his minor victories. She did it out of love, and he needed to get better at learning to accept it.

“Oh, yeah, in February he’s gonna put me on the payroll for real. Um, minimum wage proper and an extra day during the week. The extra money will be good.”

“That is good to hear,” her father said truthfully. “I’m glad that worked out.”

“Me too,” he said.

“So, a boyfriend though,” her aunt said, sipping on a glass of Coke. How exciting,” her aunt said. “Holding hands and dances. So sweet.”  _ Actually Aunt Lisa we pork as often as we can. _ She didn’t say that of course. She just smiled and nodded. “I just don’t understand- I mean, why aren’t you with your family?” 

JD and Veronica looked at each other unsure how to properly explain the situation over a polite Christmas Eve evening.  _ I was kicked out slash walked out of my abusive alcoholic father’s house and almost shot him in the process. _

He did not say any of that of course. “Um, he-”

“I don’t live with my father,” he just said simply. “And, um, I don’t really have any other family in the area.” She was about to ask follow up questions as her mother came in the room carrying some of the appetizers out.

“Here, eat these up everyone. Dinner will be out in an hour.” She sat with her father and handed a drink to her grandmother before pouring wine for her and her father. 

“Thanks dear,” he said, taking it.

“Maybe I could have a glass?” Veronica asked, hopefully. Her mother looked at her scandalized.

“Not this year peanut,” her father said, not intending it to be condescending but it coming off a little bit.

“Oh, I went to the attic and got down all of Veronica’s old baby things. Most of it works gender neutral. I hadn’t the heart to toss them and I’m glad to see them used again,” she assured Mark and Lisa. 

“Aw, thank you so much,” her aunt gushed. 

“Thanks.”

“That includes all those duck onesies I got her?” He chuckled.

“Uncle Mark…” Veronica chided. JD was noticing her tension and didn’t understand it.

“I still have your father’s christening gown if you need it,” her grandmother reminded him as she sipped her cocktail. 

“You know, she had a dress just like this when she was eight, remember Veronica?” Veronica stared at her mother. She knew,  _ knew,  _ how much she detested wearing the dress and that she shouldn’t draw too much attention to it. She had barely had one glass of wine too, so she could hardly have that as the excuse. 

“Mom, maybe we can talk about-”

“ _Little House on the Prairie_ was your favorite show,” she reminisced as she sipped her wine.

“Really?” JD asked, curiously. “Little House?” She shifted uncomfortably.

“A lot of people liked that show. I was, like, 8. It was a popular show. It was on for, like, eight years.”

“But she used to make me do her hair just like Laura. And the pioneer dresses!” Her mom laughed. “Remember honey?” She turned to her father.

“She insisted on calling me ‘Pa’ and wanted to start a farm in the backyard.” They all laughed. Veronica got visibly uncomfortable.

“Yeah, crazy the things kids-”

“She tried to set up a covered wagon in the back, convinced we should move west.” More laughter. JD noticed Veronica was not laughing and looking down.

Her grandmother noticed it too and tried to steer the conversation away. “Yes, she was a darling child. And next Christmas we’ll have another one.” Her aunt beamed.

“We’ll have enough kids to have a separate kids table now!” She said thoughtlessly. 

“In a few years maybe,” Veronica said, confused.

Her grandmother could smell this a mile away. “Any name thoughts yet?” She attempted.

“No Veronica! For you and your new cousin.” Veronica blinked at her, surprised. Her father coughed and shifted. Quietly she got out from under JD. 

“Names! Yes,” her mother said, realizing a small line may have been crossed and trying to not have a confrontation at the holiday.

“I’m sorry, just excuse me for just a few minutes,” she mumbled as she got up from the living room and walked out. Her family seemed a little confused.

“Did I say something?” Her aunt asked, nervously. JD got up, feeling awkward without her there and followed her. She had stepped outside taking her sweater with her. It was chilly, but not unbearable. He was outside a few seconds later.

“What is it?” He asked. “I tease you, I know, but I don’t care about hearing stories like that.” She wiped her eyes, trying to keep her emotions at bay. “If you’re embarrassed, don't be. And that bit about a kids table? I don’t think she realized what she said.” Veronica shook her head.

“It’s not just that. It’s just- the whole night. The dress, no small glass of wine yet, the little reminders… they forget I’m not a little kid anymore sometimes.”

“Then say something if it bothers you.” She sighed.

“I can’t,” she moaned. “It would hurt their feelings.”

“They’re hurting yours.” She shrugged.

“It’s complicated.”

“How? Just say, ‘thank you but I don’t like the dress’ or ‘hey guys please stop,’” he said not getting it.

“You don’t understand…”

“I don’t! It’s not hard. I don’t get-

“Look, you wouldn’t understand, you don’t have-” She stopped herself before she said it, feeling like the complete whiney bitch she was. He blinked at her, unsure what to say. Because of course they both knew what she was gonna say:

_ You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have any family. _

“JD I-” she whispered, in complete guilt.  _ How could you sound like such a privileged tool? _

“Well, you’re not wrong,” he said, sitting on the porch swing they had in the back, wishing he had his coat with him. It was chilly. He took his finger and touched the hole at the bottom of his old sweater-- the “nicest” one he owned. He realized too late he probably should have hit the thrift store up for a new one before coming over for dinner. “I don’t. I don’t know what it’s like to have family get me gifts that I have to pretend to like. I don’t have anyone telling fond stories about me as a little toddler running around Christmas morning happy to embarrass me in front of my girlfriend in a sweet manner. I didn’t want you anywhere near my dad because I was afraid knowing who he was would scare you away thinking I was just like him.”  _ Fuck, you’re the worst person in the world,  _ Veronica realized. “Last Christmas I sat with my dad in the living room of a city I can’t even remember the name of watching him get drunk with a half eaten Hungry Man dinner in front of me, trying to find something on TV that wasn’t  _ It’s a Wonderful Life  _ or  _ The Sound of Music.”  _ She blinked tears away, realizing the entire weight of the loneliness he felt most of his teenage life, especially how bad it must have been at the holidays. They don’t air a lot on TV Christmas Eve night because they assume you’re spending time with your family. Instead of the tears welling up inside for herself they welled up in sympathy for him. "I stared back and forth between him and the glass of Jim Bean he'd insisted on giving me wondering if I was looking at the ghost of Christmas yet to come," he told her seriously, not even having admitted it out loud to either himself or his therapist. She stared back at him, blinking. Her problems suddenly felt small and petty.

“I’m sorry,” she told him truthfully. “Oh my god, I’m really, really sorry. I was upset and self-centered. I wasn’t thinking when I-” He closed his eyes and opened them. He took her hand and brought it to his lips. He breathed out.

“You don't have to apologize. I didn’t tell you that to make you feel guilty. I told you that because… I needed to tell someone." He shrugged. "I know you didn’t mean anything to hurt me. I’m not mad at you. I’m glad you have all this. Really, I am. I always told myself none of it really mattered. But maybe I was lying to myself,” he told her truthfully.

She snuggled into his side, putting her head on his shoulder and he put her arm around her. They looked out into the Christmas eve night. In the distance they could see lights from the neighbors houses and the stars in the clear winter sky. “Well, you’ve got me to spend Christmas with now,” she said honestly. He chuckled.

“Can’t get rid of you, huh?”

“Nope. And maybe if you’re lucky you’ll hate the gift mom got for you and you’ll have to lie and tell her you love it anyway.”

_To be continued...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are lovely.
> 
> If anyone is wondering about the dress Veronica wears in this google image Laura Ashely/80s Prairie Dresses/Pinafore 80s dresses. In those days "Laura Ashley" was synonymous with being... conservative, uncool, maybe even little girl? Basically, the opposite of young hip Veronica. There was this oddball trend in the time around wearing prairie style long sleeved long skirted dresses too-- best I can gather it came from an uptick in fandom over Little House on TV and Holly Hobby? 
> 
> Anyway, who can guess what Veronica's present for JD is?  
> Or what his is for her?


	4. A Christmas They Never Forgot (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we conclude the Christmas festivities of 1989.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Happy holidays and I'm happy to finish this one up. I have a huge fondness for holiday specials so I hope you all liked this one. I am finally coming up to a little extra spare time with the winter intersession upon us so I apologize that I haven't been as diligent with updates or responding to comments but I should be better during January. 
> 
> Now, in conclusion...

_“Nope. And maybe if you’re lucky you’ll hate the gift mom got for you and you’ll have to lie and tell her you love it anyway.”_

JD knitted his face together. “She got me a gift?” He asked, shocked. Veronica grabbed the old thick blanket that they kept on the swing outside and wrapped it over their bodies for warmth as he lifted his arm and snuggled her in to him. She breathed in deep. It smelled like snow was coming. She loved that smell.

“Of course,” Veronica told him as if it were expected. “She wasn’t going to have you come over and see everyone else open something and you not have anything. Besides, you’re my regular Saturday night thing, aren’t you?” His lips twitched upwards in a smile as he dropped a kiss on her head. “You’re a part of my life, therefore a part of theirs,” she explained simply. An ache formed inside him. The little tiny part of him that longed for a family to be a part of that he swore— swore— wasn’t there before. 

“Don't be too upset over what your family says," he added softly. "I think your family means well,” he promised her. “But just so you know I was more of a Rolf fan myself.” They laughed. “And Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas Special was the superior Christmas Special.”

“I mean, I know opinions aren’t facts but that opinion is just wrong,” she countered him. They were quiet as the mood sobered up. “You never told me,” she asked, suddenly curious. “Do you not have any extended family you can get in touch with?” He paused and thought. It didn't really occur to him, to be honest. There hadn’t really been any involved in most of his life to consider.

He responded after a moment. “I mean, my dad’s parents were in Texas. My grandpa died when I was twelve and my grandma three years ago, although to be honest she was not great in the last few years. Very sick, dementia, barely recognized me or dad in the end. He also had a mess of brothers but to be honest they all seemed like, well… assholes. Even my dad didn’t like being around them. I met them and their kids a few times but don’t really have any interest in tracking them down to be honest.” He didn’t really think much about his dad’s family. They had never been particularly warm to him. Veronica lightly prodded on.

“What about on your mom's side? Any family?”

“She was from New York. I vaguely remember my grandparents, nice people I guess. They visited a bunch when I was little. There was a car crash though and they passed. Looking at that bank account she left me, your dad thinks that’s where the money she left me came from. Probably why my dad couldn’t touch it.” He shrugged.

“That’s it?” She asked, sorry she opened the can. “As far as her family?”

He debated bringing it up. Perhaps it was the holiday or perhaps it was this odd sudden ache to have family that made him admit it to her, he didn’t know. But he found himself telling her anyway. “She had a sister,” he admitted quietly. “Aunt Phyllis.” He remembered her. Long brown hair, peasant tops, long skirts, and beads wrapped around her wrist. He hadn’t seen her since his mother’s funeral. “I remember her. A fair bit younger. Pretty fun to a little kid at least. She would visit occasionally when I was little. My dad hated her, of course. I think she was one of those types that the 60s and 70s didn’t treat too kindly. Heard the words burnout, fruitcake, and nut tossed about. But obviously that was my dad for you. Went to California at some point, maybe Hawaii. I feel like she disappeared into the Hare Krishna's or the Source Family or some other culty commune like that at some point.” He shrugged. “She’d always send a birthday card with ten bucks in it though without a fail. Lost track of her when we started moving around a lot.” Veronica wanted to prod him but worried it was like stabbing a sore tooth.

“Maybe you should-” Veronica told him tentatively to try and see if he could try to get in touch when her grandmother found them.

“Aren’t you kids cold?” Her grandmother asked, stepping outside noticing the two of them out there snuggled together as she wrapped her shawl around herself. It effectively ended the line of questioning. Veronica wiped her face and they detangled.

“It is chilly,” she said, realizing she needed to go back in and rejoin her family. The talk about family with JD had made her realize that if the worst thing your family could do was tell cute stories about you at Christmas then things might not be so bad. And that maybe she should just gently tell them she didn’t like it all that much. Honestly though, all she wanted to do now was make sure JD had the warm Christmas he deserved. He had opened up— always something she cherished— and she’d maybe try again at some point to get him to look into tracking his aunt down.

“Cookie, your mother wants to see you in the kitchen.” Veronica nodded and gave her grandmother a hug.

“Thank you for trying to steer the conversation away,” she told her, genuinely glad her grandmother had her back inside.

“Look, cookie,” her grandma told her, understanding why she left the room upset. “They didn’t mean to hurt you. They do love you. Next year you’ll be on break from college and they’ll be fussing over the new baby at Christmas. I promise this is the last time it’ll be like this.” Veronica nodded. “I daresay you may even miss it a smidge,” she whispered, kissing her head.

“I know you all love me. I’m sorry I wasn’t-” 

“Stop. It’s hard at the holidays to not be nostalgic. When you have more years to reflect back on you’ll understand how easy it is to do it. Veronica lovey, you were a beautiful baby, truly, but you have every right to be annoyed that they don’t treat you like the beautiful young lady you are. ” 

“Thanks Grandma.” She walked inside, grateful for the warmth. JD was about to follow her in when her grandma stopped him.

“Is it very hard? Being around all this?” She asked, knowing what it’s like to not get family gatherings at first. “It’s hard to get used to, I know.” He just shrugged.

“I’m fine,” he lied. She snorted, spotting his lie a mile away.

“It’ll take a while. Veronica loves you very much. But she won’t really get it.” He knew what she meant. Veronica wouldn’t ever really know what it was like to grow up so alone.

“Good,” he told her. “I don’t want her ever to know what it’s like to not have anyone around her to annoy her.” Her grandma smiled. 

“Me neither. And I too hope you humor me like she did tonight for what I got you,” she teased, changing the mood. He laughed.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said, overwhelmed at the idea of two gifts and went back in.

“Now go back in,” she told him, pulling out her every now and then pack of smokes and winked. “I’m gonna sneak one of these before dinner. Sh. Our secret,” she whispered with a wink. JD laughed as he walked back into the warm bright house to sit awkwardly in the living room with Veronica’s father, Aunt, and Uncle. He hoped there was at least one or two shrimp left.

Veronica made her way to the kitchen. “I’m sorry mom. I didn’t mean to-” Veronica started. Her mom wasn’t mad or annoyed though. She looked sorry.

“Go upstairs and put that dress you had earlier on,” her mother told her as she took the chicken out of the oven and took the tin foil out and tented it in order for it to finish cooking. Veronica felt deflated. After talking to JD and her grandmother she now didn’t want to concentrate on it anymore. And she didn’t like the idea of making others unhappy just to have her way.

“It’s fine mom, I was being-”

“No,” she said firmly. “She shouldn’t have said that about a kid’s table. Especially in front of your boyfriend.” She sighed and looked at her apologetic. “Nor should I have forced you to wear something you didn’t want to wear. We could have just politely told her it wasn’t your taste and asked to exchange it. And the reminiscing got out of hand. I’m sorry, it clearly upset you and we all just kept on doing it. That wasn’t right.” She finished with the dinner and walked over to Veronica as she took off her oven mitts.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry as well. I should have said something,” she told her mother honestly. “I admit I wasn’t being the best about it.” She touched her daughter’s cheek and kissed her forehead.

“I understand. You’re not little anymore. We just had a momentary lapse. All the baby talk, you in that gawd awful dress,” they both laughed. “It’s just… it’s Christmas, and you were once my baby and little girl running around the Christmas tree. A very sweet one at that. I think we all got nostalgic for it.” It was at that moment Veronica realized her mom was starting to get anxious over the changes that would take place after the school year was over. Next year, like her grandmother told her, she would be home on break from school. She had a boyfriend over this year and going forward…? Well, Veronica knew she wanted JD in her life as long as he wanted her in his that was for sure. With her Uncle and Aunt starting their own family this would be the last Christmas like it used to be. A part of her could understand how they could be nostalgic in the middle of the change. 

“I’m still yours, no matter what,” Veronica promised her mother. Her mom nodded and pulled her to her side for a brief hug.

“My mature young woman,” she agreed. “And because of that you and JD can have half— half!— a cup of sherry each with us for desert,” she promised. “For the sake of Christmas.” Veronica smiled. “Since he’s spending the night anyway and not driving.” She hugged her mother. 

“Thanks mom. And I still do love the John Denver and Muppets Christmas album even if I don’t still scream along to it anymore.” Her mother smiled, remembering.

“You’ll always love those things from when you were little at Christmas,” she promised her. "And trust me, I'm sure next year everyone will be too busy fussing over the new one to fuss over you like this. Now go." Excitedly Veronica made her way up to her room to change.

About fifteen minutes later Veronica came back into the living room and took her place next to a very grateful JD who had been sitting there awkwardly quiet since she had abandoned him to her family to fend for himself while she changed. The shrimp, after all, had been long gone when he got back into the living room. He now understood that at any gathering he was to attend with the Sawyer’s that shrimp was an every man for themselves consumption. 

As Veronica waltzed back in everyone though was surprised to see she had changed.

“Oh cookie, you look lovely,” her grandmother told her upon seeing her in the original outfit she had planned for the evening.

“You look really nice,” JD told her, barely hiding his smile. “And you no longer jingle.” She laughed. 

“Thank you,” she told him as she sat down, carefully flipping the shorter skirt to tuck underneath her seat. Her aunt stared at her, unsure what was happening.

“Oh Veronica, why did you change out of-?” Lisa asked puzzled, then noticed her boyfriend’s smile and his arm around her. Suddenly it clicked in her head. Seeing her dressed this way with a boyfriend over, she had realized her egregious mistake. _The kid’s table._ She instantly felt awful for it. _Nearly eighteen. The girl is nearly eighteen!_

That’s not pinafore dresses and dates at the soda shoppe. And it’s not a slightly older cousin to play with her own child. It’s a young woman and she had realized the egregious nature of what she had said in her excitement over her own baby so thoroughly.

“Why don’t you help me get the food set to the table Lees, okay?” Sylvia asked her sister-in-law trying to mitigate the drama at family Christmas.

“Oh! Yes! Of course Syl,” she said in her normal chipper manner— her too mitigating the drama at Christmas— getting up. “And let’s not forget to set out all the homemade fruitcakes for dessert!”

“Yes! Let’s not!” Her mother said, throwing a look to her brother-in-law as she bounced off to the kitchen.

“It’s not as bad as you think,” Mark promised her, laughing. “Really! The home made ones are better than the junky store ones.”

“I’ll come help,” Grandma Sawyer said, getting up. She walked up to Veronica and bent down to whisper in her ear. “I approve thoroughly. Its shows off the good parts really well.” Veronica laughed and nudged her grandmother teasingly.

“Stop it!”

Bill got up and picked up what was left of the nibbles. “Sylvia? Where do you want to put the leftovers?” He made his way to the kitchen. “You do look nice peanut,” he told his daughter honestly on his way up. She smiled back up at him as he touched her shoulder. “Very mature.”

“Thanks dad.” It left her Uncle, JD and Veronica in the living room. Her uncle turned to Veronica. 

“Hey, Ronnie,” he addressed her by lightly tapping his foot against hers from across the living room furniture. “She didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay. I know. Uncle Mark, you know that if I didn’t really like her I wouldn’t have put it on and smiled.” He looked at his niece, the almost adult now with whom his relationship would always be different than to that of his own children. 

“Thank you. Look, next time you drive into the city why don’t you let me know? I’ll treat you to lunch or a movie or something. We can catch up like we used to.” Veronica smiled, remembering all the inappropriate movies he would take her to and trips to the museum or fairs her parents never did. All that “fun uncle” stuff he was so good at. She smiled.

“I’d like that.”

“You too,” he addressed JD who suddenly looked up startled to be addressed. “Both of you, next time you’re around. I’d like to get to know you too,” he addressed JD who didn’t realize he was included in this.

“Oh, um. Sure,” JD responded, unsure what else to say to that as her uncle left them alone to the living room. Veronica nudged JD and he looked at her surprised.

“Everyone likes you, see?” He chuckled and double checked if her family was around— they weren’t looking— and leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Dinner went on without a hitch. Afterwards they sat in the living room with desert next to the tree. Her mother handed JD and Veronica half a glass of sherry in the nice wine glasses they only used at holidays to his surprise. Veronica smiled at her. “Thanks mom.” Her father almost said something until her mother stopped.

“I think they’re old enough for a small taste. And he’s not driving tonight,” Sylvia said, stopping Bill from protesting. She raised her glass and everyone followed suit. “Merry Christmas everyone.”

“Merry Christmas,” they all said, clinking their glasses.

“And a blessed New Year,” her grandmother added. They took their courtesy sips.

JD was surprised to be handed it and realized why this felt so different than when his father tried to get him to drink with him: this was an abnormal occurrence, a token gesture of goodwill and the responsibility of adulthood, not an invitation to be a drinking buddy. He took a small sip of the sweet wine and put it down, wanting to savor it. He watched Veronica do the same, watching her sit up a little straighter, glad to be included with the adults finally. He was just glad she was in better spirits.

Her grandma smiled and leaned over to pat her knee. “When you’re twenty-one we’ll go to Atlantic City and I’ll treat you to a proper cocktail.” They all laughed but Veronica filed that one away, having no intention of passing her up on that promise in a little more than three years.

“What about a game?” Her aunt suggested, still feeling bad about her comments to Veronica earlier but unsure if she should say something in front of everyone. Instead, they broke into teams for Trivial Pursuit. They were an odd number so her grandmother decided to sit back and watch with her cocktail and unofficially play on JD and Veronica’s team. Not that they needed the help though, between her book smarts, and his insatiable memory for anything he’d ever read they were pretty unbeatable.

“You want another beer, Mark?” Her dad asked, finishing up his own. Veronica laughed. Her dad was on her second beer of the night. He usually only drank like this on holidays. “There’s some in the garage.” 

“Yeah, why not?” He looked at his wife who was unable to drink, blinking at him with a smirk on her face and he suddenly felt guilty. “That is-”

“It’s fine,” she told him. “Have one for me.” He kissed her and got up and followed his brother out to the garage to grab the beers. “Just remember next year that it’s going to be you not drinking on Christmas taking care of the baby when I want to have another glass of wine,” she teased.

“I promise!” He told her as he and Bill left to get another beer. “So… I didn’t feel the cold front from you towards the boyfriend all night. So we like this boy now?” Mark asked his brother, amused, when they got out of earshot. Bill shrugged.

“I’m tolerating it,” he told him honestly. He took the extra six pack from the mini fridge in the garage and handed one to his brother. 

“A Christmas miracle,” he said, sarcastically. Bill rolled his eyes. “Come on, tell me. What’s the deal with him not living with his dad?”

“He got kicked out,” he told him truthfully. Mark looked taken aback.

“Jesus, seriously?” He asked, taken aback at the bluntness of the situation. “You want Ronnie around a guy who got kicked out of his house? Wait? Is this guy even eighteen yet? How-”

“It’s not like that. Honestly? The father was a real piece of work. I met him once, talked to him twice. Both times were not pleasant experiences. Jason came over the night it all happened a few weeks ago. God, the bruise on his face.” Bill shook his head, still not believing the whole thing. “How anyone can lay hands on their own child I can never understand. I hate to say it, but the kid is better off without him.”  
  
“So, you like them together now?” he asked, surprised by Bill’s reasonable change of thought.  
  
“Feeling empathy for a teenager in a bad home life and liking my daughter dating him are two very— very— separate things,” he told him. “I’m tolerating it.” He shook his head as his brother just stared at him. “God, I can’t wait until you have a teenager to understand.”

He shrugged. “Might be a boy.”

“I don’t think they’re any easier,” he told him gravely as they went inside and rejoined their family for the rest of the game… that Veronica and JD were clearly winning. 

“This is not fair!” Her Uncle joked as they slipped the last piece of pie into their wheel taking the game into victory. “You invited a ringer,” he jokingly accused Veronica. JD laughed.

“I just remember things I read,” he told him honestly, feeling more comfortable around her family than he had at the beginning of the night. 

“I’ll make sure to study before next year,” her uncle promised. JD felt a lump in his throat. _Next year._ No one else noticed it, so he didn’t want to harp on the implications of that. He certainly hoped Veronica would still be in his life by then. Personally, he felt he wanted to be in her life for as long as she let him.

Veronica realized in that moment how utterly right this all was. Her mother, her father, aunt, uncle, grandmother… and JD. It felt very right indeed seeing him slip right into her family. Seeing him enjoy this Christmas with food, games, and family just filled her with an utter warmth she couldn’t quantify.

“What about a game of Scattergories next?” Her mother suggested.

At about eleven o’clock the family called it goodnight and dispersed into the spare room, with JD being set up on the couch ready to join them for Christmas morning and breakfast. Her Aunt and Uncle had the bed in the guest room and her grandmother was in her own bed— Veronica had insisted as she was older— and Veronica graciously set herself up on her sleeping bag on the floor, insisting she didn’t mind. 

“I messed up tonight with Veronica, didn’t I? The dress was too young for her and not even remotely the sort of thing she wears. Right?” Lisa asked her husband as they got into the bed.

“It was fine honey, really. Veronica just wanted to-” 

She eyed him, wanting the truth. “Don’t.”

“Yes,” he told her. “Thankfully Ronnie’s a champ and wore it anyway.” Lisa nodded, dejected.

“And I insisted she wear it in front of her boyfriend. God, what was I thinking? She’s nearly eighteen! They probably have sex in the backseat of his car for god sake!” Mark sputtered.

“Do not say things like that around my brother. Please. He only just started tolerating the boy.” She laughed.

“Honey, they’re completely having sex in the backseat of his car,” she informed him. “That boy adores her and vice versa. I can tell by the way she lets him fawn over her. It’s the same way I let you fawn over me.” He laughed.

“Oh god, that may be true but still, my brother doesn’t need to hear that.” He slipped under the covers and cuddled her close, touching her stomach. “After talking to him tonight I am definitely not looking forward to a teenager,” he mused. “Boy or girl.”

She was quiet before saying contritely, “what I said about her and the kid’s table was out of line though. I’ll apologize in the morning.” He kissed her.

“She doesn’t hold it against you,” he promised.

“It’s just… I was an only child with no cousins,” she told him. “I was just excited that ours was going to have a cousin. I didn’t realize she was just so much older and they wouldn’t really be friends or contemporaries. I’m really terrible at the whole age appropriate thing!” She gasped, suddenly petrified. “What if I do this with ours? You know I just like things to be-”

“Perfect,” he said at the same time as her, knowing it was how she was. 

“Hey, it’ll be fine. I love you and my family loves you. Look, if Veronica didn’t love you she wouldn't have tried to live it. Look, let me get one of the presents,” he said, getting up to look inside their overnight bag. He handed her an envelope.

“What’s this?” She asked, opening it up and eying the contents of the envelope, perplexed. “Tickets? For us to go see? I don’t even know who this group is.”

“No,” he laughed. “It’s for you to give to her and her boyfriend. Trust me. They’ll love it. I know you said you were taking care of the gifts this year but when I walked past the line selling them and saw it wasn’t too long or expensive I just got them.” She turned to him and leaned over and kissed him. “But I want you to hand it to her. I want you to get the giant smile and thank you and hug, okay?”

“Thank you,” she laughed. “I love it.” She wiped her eyes, realizing how emotional she was being. “Just make sure you start telling me immediately whenever I do something batty from now on.”

“I’d have to do that three or four times a day if you really wanted that.” She laughed. “I knowingly married a basket case, it’s okay.” She nudged him and he laughed.

“You love how nutty I am,” she teased. 

He turned the light off and got into the bed with her. “I do love it.” 

“And you’re just as nutty as I am even if no one else sees it,” she reminded him. “You know, I just realized- if Veronica has kids they’ll be the age of ours and still be cousins. So there’s always that.” He snorted.

“Honey, don’t mention the idea of Veronica getting pregnant around Sylvia,” he warned. “She’s liable to have a heart attack at the thought at this point.” She laughed and they both drifted off to sleep, his hand lovingly holding her stomach.

Downstairs, JD awkwardly sat on the couch wearing his only pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt trying to stretch out and get comfortable on the couch. He’d slept in worse, to be sure, but it was just an unaccustomed site for him to be asleep near a lit up Christmas tree. He liked staring at it and the mini train set the Sawyers put out around it as well as the nativity. 

“Warm enough down here?” A sweet voice asked. He looked up and saw Veronica coming towards the tree. She was in a simple night dress cut a bit like a white slip with a small red bow at her cleavage. Hanging off of her was a blue night robe. The Christmas lights twinkled around her making her look almost angelic. 

“Well, don’t you look sexy in that,” he told her, meaning it. Her hair was down, freshly combed, loose, and free of any styling and her feet were bare making her look two inches shorter than normal but he definitely liked the nightgown. It didn’t leave a heck of a whole lot to the imagination. A part of him wished he could take that bathrobe off of her.

She smiled wryly. She thought about saying her demure scripted line about “this old thing?” but opted instead to just grin and say, “thank you. So, this is what Jason Dean wears to sleep in at night?” She asked, looking at him in the sweat pants and shirt.

“You don’t really sneak in on me much in my night clothes. You’re catching me in my unmentionables,” he told her charmingly. It always worked on her to make her heart flip flop in her throat. “And it was warmer that evening when you broke into my room that first night and I had on just the boxers and t-shirt. I do own a pair of sweatpants to sleep in too you know.” She laughed. “So, coming down to try and sneak a peek at your present?” He joked as he picked up his own for her.

Veronica smiled and looked at the badly wrapped package in his hand. “No, actually I was just coming down to set yours up under the tree.” With excitement she picked up the moderate sized package by it’s handle and handed it to him. “Let’s do this just ourselves and not in front of my family. Open up yours,” she told him excitedly.

He eyed it carefully. It had holes in it. “Don’t shake it first!” She warned quickly. Confused and worried he took the wrapping covering off of it. To Veronica's glee his face lit up like a little kid's.

“Oh, hey there little guy,” he cooed realizing it was a sweet little hamster in a cage with a water bottle. He put it down on the coffee table as he examined it with awe. He had had a hamster at one point— still had the cage for it and some accoutrements— but it had been awhile. He remembered Veronica noticing it when they were unpacking at his new place. She must have filed that away for this very moment. “I can’t believe you got me something living.” She shrugged.

“He’s just something to keep you company in that little basement of yours. I mean, you have the bigger cage, right? The man at the pet store told me this wasn't the proper size for him. He's a dwarf and needs a wheel and-” He turned to her and kissed her before turning back to his new little one.

"He'll be properly cared for. The cage I have is much better suited with a proper wheel for him to play on. You got pellets and bedding, right?" She nodded, showing him the bag she'd gotten the day before when she picked the hamster up.

“The man at the store warned me about pet giving at the holidays, but I just thought you'd be very responsible for him no matter when you got him, right?"

"He'll be seen to properly," he promised, watching his new friend in awe.

Veronica smiled, glad he like it. "So, what do you want to name him? Fuzzy? Snowball? Hammy?” He turned to her like she had two heads.

“Those are the dumbest names ever,” he said. She was aghast at the insult. But not much.

“Well, what do you suggest?” He eyed the small creature carefully and nodded.

“Marcel,” he pronounced. “His name’s Marcel.” She nodded and turned to the hamster.

“Okay, well, nice to meet you Marcel. Do you like him?”

“Yes. I think we could get along,” he determined looking at the little fella go over to his water bottle and take a sip. “And I could use the company,” he told her. “Thank you.” He kissed her on the lips lingering for a moment in gratitude.

“I want to open mine!” She said excitedly. She had realized he’d never given her a present— she didn’t count his mother’s pearl necklace since she had told him it was a loan and couldn’t properly accept the gift— and she was excited to find out what it could be. He handed it to her and started tearing the paper excitedly. He winced, suddenly nervous. Gift giving was not something he had any knowledge of or talent for.

“If it sucks just tell me and I’ll get something else or-”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” She cleared the paper away and stared down at it. It was a wooden frame, stained a deep brown and inside was a picture of her and JD. Her head was leaning on his shoulder and he was glancing down at her like she was the most precious thing in the world. She remembered Heather had taken that snap of the two of them not too long ago when they were all out getting pizza together. Veronica blinked back tears.

“I made the frame in woodshop,” he explained. “Well, it was better than the coat hangers or bird houses a lot of other guys were making for their families as gifts, I thought. I mean, you can put any picture you want in there, I guess. That’s just- that’s one of my favorites of the two of us though.” She stared at it in her hand, unable to discern her feelings about it. In worry, he tried to take it back. “But, if you don’t like it I can always-” She leaned over and pecked his mouth, silencing him.

She tried to keep the tears inside. _He made me a frame. And put a picture of the two of us in it._ She was overwhelmed with how touched she was over the present. “I love it. I really love it,” she assured him. He let out a sigh of relief. “It’s a really great picture of us.”

“Yeah? I know it’s not much but-” She leaned over and held his cheek stopping him as she kissed him again.

“I love it,” she reiterated. “Merry Christmas JD,” she told him just a breath away from his lips. He relaxed and leaned back towards her and closed the distance between them and kissed her in earnest. The twinkling lights, the rattle of his new compatriot Marcel, and the light Christmas music from an old music box on a timer that tinkled out from underneath the tree, added to the sense of isolation and magic the two of them felt. Like it was just the two of them in the whole house.

So much so that Veronica wasn’t thinking when she saddled her leg around his waist and sat in his lap as he sat forward on the couch. Her hands carefully caressed his face down to his neck as his own glided over her front and to her back, slipping her robe off her shoulders as their lips locked in deep embrace. She was about to reach down out of instinct to lift his shirt over his head when-

“Um, you two may want to not do that in the living room with her parents and family upstairs asleep on Christmas eve going into Christmas morning.” Quickly they parted, both embarrassed.

“Grandma,” Veronica squeaked. “I thought everyone was asleep.” She came out with a glass of water from the kitchen and held it up.

“Evidently,” she said with a laugh as JD fixed his shirt and Veronica quickly wrapped herself up in the robe. 

“We were just exchanging presents."

"I can see that," she countered with mirth. Veronica eyed her.

"I'm serious. Want to see what he got me?” Veronica asked, trying to put the compromising position she was caught in behind them. She knew grandma wouldn’t rat her out though and was probably more amused by it than anything.

“Of course,” she said, eying the cage and the small creature carefully.

“Oh, not Marcel. I got JD the little guy. Ain’t he cute? He got me this,” she said proudly. She handed her the frame. “He made it. The frame I mean.” Her grandmother looked down at the crafted frame and the picture of the two happy young lovebirds inside than back at the two of him. Carefully she etched her thumb over the side of it, her heart incredibly full to see her granddaughter in love with a young man who loved her back. She smiled and handed it back to Veronica who put it back with the other presents to show off to her mother— and hopefully her father will care— in the morning. 

“It’s beautiful. Really beautiful,” her grandmother said with a twinge of emotion in her voice. “Those two in that picture deserve every bit of happiness this year.” She got up. “And now it’s time for bed. Remember? If you don’t go to sleep in your own bed then Santa won’t come.” Veronica laughed.

“You haven’t said that to me since I was ten,” she reminded her, but not harshly. 

“Well, how about you better get to bed before your father catches you down here necking your boyfriend underneath the tree? Hmm?” She nodded.

“Yikes, your right.” JD laughed as the two of them went back upstairs to sleep in her room.

After breakfast the next morning they proceeded to the living room to exchange gifts. It was a mess of wrapping paper and thank you's. Veronica was pleased with her new pair of sneakers from her parents and her new Swatch Watch from her grandmother. 

She had shown her mother and father the picture frame JD had gotten her and her mother told him it was lovely to JD’s embarrassment, even her father surprisingly thought it was well made.

“And you’re taking that gift with you when you leave Jason, correct?” Mrs. Sawyer said, eying the hamster. JD was surprised at the level of disdain she had for his new baby.

“Mom does not like hamsters,” Veronica explained.

“What? Why?” he asked innocently. There was some laughter.

“Veronica was in the second grade-” Her mother started.

“Sylvia,” her grandmother said sipping her coffee. “I think maybe Veronica may have had enough of the embarrassing childhood stories.” Veronica looked at her grandma grateful.

“It’s okay grandma. It’s a good story. I’ll tell him though.” She thought back to the second grade. “When I was eight I got assigned to bring the class hamster home for Christmas break. It was very exciting. I got worried though he wasn’t getting enough exercise so I kind of… let him run around my room?” He winced at where this was headed. “He kind of ended up in mom’s bed,” she admitted. “Scared the daylights out of her.” They all laughed. “Hamsters have been banned since.”

Her mother did not laugh. She just calmly told JD, "they are welcome to live their lives. Just not in my home." She changed the subject. “Here,” she told JD, handing him a wrapped package. “It’s not much, but a little something for you.” He looked at it like it was a foreign object. 

“Um, thank you. Really,” he told her sincerely. He almost didn’t want to open it. She laughed.

“Well, go on. I want to make sure it fits.” He undid the paper and then the box, pushing past the tissue paper to reveal a new black knitted sweater. “Veronica assured me you wouldn’t wear it in any other color.”  
  
“It’s great,” he said genuinely thinking of his own only hole-filled sweater from last night, glad to have a replacement “nice sweater.” “But you didn’t have to-”

“Hush. Of course I didn’t. Just let me know if I have to exchange it or not.” Next her grandmother handed him a package.

“Seriously, you didn’t-” he reminded her.

“Just open it,” she assured him. He did. Inside was a new winter hat and scarf. Black as well. 

“Thank you,” he told her, meaning it.

“Try it on, I wasn’t sure if it would fit,” she told him. He did. Veronica laughed.

“You look like Jack Nicholson in _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_ ,” she told him.

“I’m taking that as a compliment. I love Jack Nicholson,” he told her, doing his best impersonation. She laughed.

“Oh god, stop it. That’s terrible,” she teased him.

“And here, this is for both of you,” her grandmother added, handing them an envelope. Inside were printed gift certificates for the movie theater and some cash.

“Oh Grandma- you shouldn’t-”

“Nope! Either tomorrow or the next night I want to treat you two to a movie and a pizza or ice cream or whatever it is you like to do. Please. Have a good time.” She smiled and sat down, slipping the new slippers her mother and father had given her on her feet. Veronica got up and hugged her.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, really,” JD told her. “Thank you.” She pshawed them off.

“Um, Veronica,” her aunt said, nervously.

“Yes?” She asked back. She looked at the envelope in her hands and handed it to Veronica.

“Your real present. And don’t worry, I have a receipt for that dress. I can take it back and your mom can find something a little better.” She shrugged. “It was much too young for you and you’re not-”

“Oh Aunt Lisa, it’s-”

“It’s okay Veronica. You’re a nice girl, thank you for putting up with my craziness.”

“Oh come on, Aunt Lisa. You know I love you.” Her aunt beamed at that. “And I can’t wait to finally have a cousin,” she said truthfully. “And, hey, maybe I can babysit the new little one. Money never hurts.” Lisa laughed.

“That would be nice. Go on, open the envelope.” Veronica did and blinked in disbelief than erupted in joy.

“Oh my god! Two tickets to Violent Femmes and The Pogues in Cincinnati in March? That’s amazing! Thank you!” She launched over and hugged her aunt.

“You’re welcome, enjoy it,” she told her niece, basking in the glow of seeing the joy of giving someone a great present.

“Oh, great,” JD said, excited. “What day?” Veronica looked at him shocked.

“Uh, who says I’m taking you?” She teased him.

“Um, who’s gonna drive you?” He teased back.

“Okay, fine. You can take me.”

“You and your wife got my teenage daughter tickets to an out of town rock show so that her and her boyfriend can stay out all night?” Her father asked his brother tightly out of earshot.

“Yup,” he responded smugly. “My gift to you is always the best.”

“You know what? That’s fine.” Bill chuckled to himself. “My child’s nearly eighteen, yours is on it’s way. This is just a reminder to you that I never forgot. All of the whistles, yo-yos, bubble gum, and loud noisy toys over the last seventeen years? They are definitely coming back to you in your future,” he responded equally smug, clapping him on the back. Dread finally filled Mark’s chest at the prospect of payback.

Around late afternoon Christmas the Sawyer household had calmed down— them being a more Christmas Eve oriented family— and after a nice spread late lunch/early dinner they all decided to head home. Doubly so when it was clear a gentle snow was starting to fall and fears of her grandmother being on the road before it worsened were not unwarranted. It took a long time to say goodbye like usual. First Veronica hugged her Uncle telling him how glad she was for the baby than her aunt.

Quietly, her aunt whispered a brief apology. “I’m sorry about what I said last night about a kid’s table for you Veronica.”

She gave her a squeeze. “It’s all right. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I left you two tins of the cookies and your mother has all the fruit cakes you all didn’t manage to finish.” Veronica’s smile tightened.

“Oh great, mom, did you hear that? She left the fruitcake!” Her mother swallowed her own disgust.

“Fruitcake, great!” She responded kissing her brother and sister-in-law goodnight. At the end of the day, family was family and no matter what when you cared about them you sucked it up and told them you love their fruit cake. “And I’ll pick you up tomorrow for the shopping at about eleven if this isn’t too bad to go out in?” She confirmed her shopping trip with her sister-in-law.

Finally Veronica gave her grandmother a tight hug goodnight. “Let me know how your first New Year’s with a boyfriend goes, huh? Let me live a little vicariously through my granddaughter’s love life.” Veronica laughed.

“Please, the party at your center is far more of a hopping affair than any I’ll be invited to. Just try to introduce yourself to the man you're kissing at midnight first?” Her grandmother laughed.

“And you take her out for a good time that night, hear me?” She said to JD as she went in for a hug. He was more than surprised by it but accepted it. 

Veronica’s mom had already okay-ed JD sleeping over one more night— in the spare room of course— since they were on break from school and had plans tomorrow to meet their friends to hang out and enjoy the time off. She pulled the TV and VCR into her room to watch some Christmas specials on TV and some tapes she had on hand.

"Ugh, can we not watch _It's a Wonderful Life?_ That's seriously the 8th time it's been on TV this week alone," JD complained as she flipped the channels and landed on it.

"Aw, but we're at the part where if George Bailey never lived his wife lives a horrid life as a... as a..." she paused for dramatic effect, "a spinster librarian in glasses! Oh the humanity!" He laughed and got up from her bed. 

“Honestly, It’s not bad,” he said, grabbing a hunk of the homemade fruitcake and eating it as he was going through her mix of tapes of random specials from TV she had taped and some store bought ones. “You’re all complaining. I think it’s good. No idea why fruit cake gets such a bum rap.” He took a small piece of broccoli he had procured from her fridge and carefully fed it to Marcel in an attempt to gain his trust and bond. The little guy tentatively took it and gobbled it up happily. JD had already refilled his water and made sure he was set in his cage for the night to take home tomorrow in preparation for acclimating him to his new home and with his much bigger cage that would be much more comfortable for him to get used to. He was also prepared to swing by the pet store for more pellets, bedding, and any other necessities he felt needful for the proper care of the hamster. Veronica laughed, fully aware that he had already completely bonded with the little guy.

“I’ll let mom know,” she said. “You are more than welcome to take home the five bricks she made us.” He laughed and flipped through the stack of VHS’s before promptly smiling to himself and putting one in the machine. “What did you pick?” She asked as she rooted around the tin for another sugar cookie. They had quite the sweets feast in her room between the leftover cookies, the fruitcake, and candy canes that were on the tree for decoration mom finally relented to being eaten.

“You’ll see,” he laughed as he grabbed a candy cane for himself and his girl and cuddled into her bed with her. Sitting up against the back wall she snuggled up against him. He grabbed the remote and hit play on the VCR.

It took her a minute before she realized. “The Little House on the Prairie Christmas Special? Really?” She groaned. “God, I can’t believe I still have this!”

He laughed. “Um, you purchased this,” he reminded her. “It was an officially released tape that you went out of your way to buy, you loved it so much.” She laughed.

“Look! It was a cultural phenomena when I was little! And this episode is, like, the only time all the Ingalls children, adopted ones too, all sat around the table together,” she supplied the trivia.

“Wow, you were so into this show.” She punched him teasingly. They began watching the opening sequence as the little Ingalls girls ran over the hill. Veronica remembered being convinced she was just like Laura. About halfway through JD’s tone and look changed.

“You okay babe?” Veronica asked, concerned, noticing it.

“I just remembered watching this on TV,” he said suddenly serious. “That first Christmas.” He coughed, having stirred up a memory he didn’t realize was as powerful as it was.

“What first Christmas?” She asked, not realizing.

“The one- the first one without my mom.” Veronica sat up suddenly and realized what he was sharing with her. Tentatively she reached her hand out and laced her fingers into his. She had come to understand that if he wanted to share something with her that it made it easier for him if she was somehow touching him, anchoring him to her. He stared down at their fingers linked together and squeezed hers gently.

“You can tell me about it. You know, if you want to,” she said, desperate for him to open up to her about it, but trying to mask it to not seem pushy or intrusive. She knew him. She knew how easily he could clam up if pushed too hard. Last night he had opened up a bit about his dad, she wondered if he could also open up about his mom as well. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He swallowed, nodding.

“She was actually really good at Christmas,” he told her, deciding to just open up. Maybe it was the warmth of the night, her calming presence, but most likely it was the sense of family and holiday cheer he’d had for the last two days that made him open to sharing this with her. “Which was funny since she was raised Jewish. I guess my dad must have wanted Christmas in the house. At least at the time. She was always good at doing stuff like that. She never went half way on things, always committed to it.” Veronica just sat and listened. She never wanted to break the spell when he talked about his mom or his childhood, especially the harder memories. “The Christmas after she died I was nine and we didn’t put up a tree. He never even mentioned it, like it wasn't strange that we weren’t celebrating. I was… particularly moody and quiet that year after she passed,” he shrugged. “I barely spoke at school unless I had to and only to him when there was no other choice. I think by then he’d thrown most of her stuff out and we’d already moved out of the house we had when she was alive. I thought about bringing it up, but… I didn’t. God, I had been raised on so much TV by that point I vaguely thought some magic Christmas miracle would… I honestly don’t know what I thought. Not bring her back, I was too old to think that. Maybe make him become warm to me? I don’t know. In the end, we just… sat in the living room watching TV as he drank.” He cleared his throat shaking himself from the memory. He turned to Veronica and directly looked into her pretty dark eyes full of love and compassion for him. “I think when this aired he had been asleep at that point. I just remember thinking, ‘this is it. Miracles don’t really happen and there won’t be anymore Christmases.’ It didn’t make me sad though, because at least I had the ones on TV. I could watch the happy families on the TV celebrate Christmas.” She tried very hard not to get too emotional and cry about that heartbreaking confession. “God, that’s either a warm coping mechanism on my part or a crazy indictment of the state of television in the American child’s upbringing. Take your pick really,” he snorted, trying to break the somber tone. 

Veronica sat quietly and turned back to the screen to watch the Ingalls recount their favorite Christmas memories. She wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him- well, anything. But she waited for him to finish, and to take from her what comfort that he needed. Even if that comfort was just to vent it out to someone.

“Anyway,” he said, shifting, trying to break the serious mood. “I just realized, that's no longer a sad memory, that's why I wanted to tell you. All that talk last night of how much you liked the show I realized you must have had the TV on that night watching it as well.” She smiled.

“I did. Little nine year old me, laying on the living room floor with my head in my hands enraptured.” He laughed and carefully stroked her hair behind her ear.

“I can imagine it. Wide eyes, that tree of yours lit up behind you. You must have been beautiful.” He leaned in and rested his forehead on hers. “I like that. That on that sad Christmas somewhere you and I were having a shared experience before we even knew each other.”

“When you put it like that, I do too.” He leaned in and nuzzled her ear.

“Thank you for giving me a Christmas again,” he whispered to her.

“You’re welcome,” she told him honestly. She was so glad to be able to give that to him. “As long as you’re with me, I promise you Christmases… and all the family nonsense that comes with it.”

“I know,” he told her, with a laugh. He leaned back in to kiss her.

Outside her window the snow fell gently on Sherwood that night as JD closed up the first Christmas with Veronica and her family he ever had. Veronica still has that picture frame he made her with the picture of the two of them at seventeen in it. She could live to be a thousand and never part with it. It was the first— and not last— Christmas gift he gave to her after all.

Not terribly far from that moment, the Christmas of 1996 to be precise, it was her own sweet baby everyone was cooing and fussing over underneath the Christmas tree with her parents, aunt, uncle, their two kids, grandmother, and most particularly her very happy husband. After all, that little baby was the most recent— and one of the best— presents he would ever give her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITED TO ADD DISCLAIMER: Veronica giving JD Marcel is not an endorsement of pet giving at the holidays. It has come to my attention that it is unadvisable to give a hamster at that time of year and that one should always go into pet procuring well prepared. It was not my intention to advocate this. It was my intention to introduce his hamster and have it be a gesture from Veronica but I see now how this can be interpreted. I have since edited the chapter a smidgen to properly reflect JD being the most conscientious and attentive hamster caregiver in the world. He loves Marcel and takes very excellent care of him and makes sure his food, water, cage, bedding, etc are always seen to and in proper condition.  
> ***************************************************************************************************************************  
> Also, if you've never seen It's a Wonderful Life here's the scene Veronica is making fun of: https://youtu.be/L8-qMOc08To
> 
> Happy holidays for reals everyone. I know that for many of us this holiday may not be the same since we can't gather with loved ones (especially older ones) and no parties with lots of friends so I hope writing this was in some way a nice gift for all of us. Especially nostalgia for Christmas in the before times. A big thank you to everyone who reads this story and those who leave such lovely comments each time. I really love it.
> 
> A reminder to be safe this Christmas and wash your hands and wear your masks.
> 
> PS: The closest winner to the "guess the present" was Alexandra_dAutriche, who was the one to inform me of the proper care of hamsters. Thank you very much for the information and I see your point completely as I said in your response. Thank you for the correction.


End file.
